365 Project- Week 30

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July Outfits

still setting the world on fire with my selection of tshirts and cut off shorts 

  

   
 

  

  

  
    

   
   

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365 Project- Week 29

I can’t believe I’m still going without missing a day! I also can’t believe this is the last week of photos in steamboat. Sad face

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The Last Day

It is our last day in Steamboat. We won’t get to see everyone we want to see one last time, we won’t get to do everything we want to do one last time. I’m going to try and enjoy it best I can, but most likely I’m going to spend the day trying to find and pack every single thing we brought with us, and being hugely bummed out. 

In a perfect twist of fate, this happens to be the exact week we moved away from Steamboat 6 years ago. It has been really hard to see all of my time hop tweets from that time, because man, I couldn’t wait to get out of here. I had such ideas of what my life was supposed to look like, and what I thought I wanted, and I stupidly closed my eyes to everything that said otherwise. 

Expectations ruin everything. 

The very first time I ever set foot in Steamboat I felt like I was home. It was actually a bizarre reaction to somewhere I’d never been, but it inspired me to move here which I’d never take back. I also had delusions of becoming someone I’m not, and learning to love hiking and skiing and all outdoor pursuits. But it turns out I’m never going to love hiking and biking or just generally being outside. I’m ok with that. But I thought that because I didn’t love those things, I couldn’t love Steamboat. 

  
When we left, or more accurately when I was so desperate to leave, the kids were all under 3. I couldn’t see beyond the baby tunnel, to where it starts to get easier and venturing outside of your bubble and schedule become possible again. So all of the benefits of living here and raising kids were invisible to me. It’s humiliating to admit how shortsighted I was, and how my errors in judgement have completely jeopardized our chances of achieving the life we want. 

Worst mistake I’ve ever made. 

But the only choice is to learn from it. To try and move forward without falling into the same trap. I know myself better now than I did 6 years ago, and I can better reconcile what I think I want with what I can realistically manage. 

And I’m not the only one who’s changed. Steamboat is different now, too. Thanks to the magic of social media, I have better relationships with my friends here than I did when I left. Friends who were single when we left are now married with kids, making kid friendly socialization an option. It’s so nice to spend an evening eating and talking with good friends while the kids run around safely entertaining themselves. That’s something we will never have in Omaha, and as much as I like to hermit myself away in my house and never come out, having the occasional reason to emerge is nice too. 

  
I’m going to consider our move to Omaha an experiment in being upwardly mobile. We had wanted better economic opportunities than could be found in Steamboat- and that aspect of our move is still very valid. But it didn’t pan out quite as well as we had hoped, and at this point soending the next 20 years in the pursuit of a better bottom line doesn’t seem like a fair trade. As a covetous glutton, abandoning my dream of a life of lazy excess is going to be a significant sacrifice, but I think the benefits far outweigh the cost. And raising kids who value experience over possessions is truly priceless. 

  
But the bottom line is that Steamboat is where I feel like I belong. Coming over the pass and seeing the valley unfold before me has always given me a sense of being home, and this summer has only emphasized how that feeling has been missing the last six years. 

This is where we are meant to be. It’s time to move back. 
ps: the kids feel exactly the same way

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365 Project- Week 28

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