When What Is Worse Than Why

Everybody knows (and dreads) the kid with the "why" complex.  The one who asks why to every single answer until you want to rip your hair out, or more often, rip his hair out.  It is used constantly on tv and in movies, and pretty much every parent has had to deal with this lovely phase.

Except me.

My kids never really got into the chain of endless whys, most likely because I answer most questions with "I don't know" just to cut them off at the pass.  So, they think I'm a total idiot, but hey, they don't drive me crazy with why all day long.

Instead, they drive me crazy with "what if."  And let me tell you, I think "why" has a legit challenger in the most annoying question category.

"What if you went over there and had that cracker?"
"What if GeeGee was little?"
"What if cows could fly?"

Do you see how this can be more annoying than why?  Because THERE IS NO ANSWER.  The answer to "what if something" is always, "then that something would happen."

ALWAYS.

Maybe the answer might be, "well then you would die," but in general the answer to "what if you had pink hair?" is always going to be "then I'd have pink hair."

Kind of doesn't even need to be asked.  And you can't even skirt the issue with I don't know.  So I've taken to either saying nothing if possible, or just going "yeah."

Which doesn't do much to shake the mommy's a little dim concept.

Red Rover Red Rover

We have a boy living next door who the kids just love, and they all completely idolize him.  Ever since we have lived in this house they will stand at the fence and stare into his backyard calling his name and wishing him to come outside and play.  He is quite a bit older (12 now I think), so for the longest time I only let them play across the fence.

Now that my kids are all older, I have let him come over to our back yard a few times recently to play with the kids.  And he has been great - he plays soccer or catch or tag with them, and he is very patient and considerate of everyone, even though they are all so little and sometimes completely obnoxious.  Oh, and all yell his name constantly trying to compete for attention.  I honestly don't know why he even wants to play with them - Monday he was trying to explain the rules of tennis to Jack so they could play correctly, and Jack was basically just like "no, I can do whatever I want so that I win."  Real charming.

The biggest problem I have with the whole arrangement (aside from listening uncomfortably as my kids desperately vie for attention or act like spoiled babies) is the age difference.  Its kind of inappropriate for a 12 year old to be playing with my 7, 5 and 4 year old kids, right?  Especially when Isabelle hangs all over him, which I make sure to stop her from doing but I'm not sure how to explain why she can't wrestle with the much older boy next door.  They have such a great time with him, and he is really sweet and acts completely correctly with them, but I still feel like I probably should never have allowed it in the first place.

Oh well.  Maybe some of his maturity will rub off a little bit.  And hey, they're all outside playing and not bothering me, so win win.

Hoarders

So, I like to watch Hoarders and Hoarding: Buried Alive, which are basically the same show anyway.  My husband thinks it is absolutely disgusting (he's not wrong), but I love it.  Probably because I have an unhealthy obsession with my stuff so I can relate to some degree (even thought clutter makes me crazy so I also tend to throw stuff out constantly).  My kids also enjoy watching the show with me (they call it House of Hoarders which I love), and to alleviate my guilt over letting them rot their brains watching trashy reality tv (as opposed to quality educational programs like Spongebob), I try and make it a learning experience: ie I constantly tell them they have to clean their rooms and always pick up their toys so they don't end up on Hoarders.

It's like scared straight up in here.

So far the indoctrination is working a little - anytime I ask them to clean up they will loudly exclaim that they don't want to end up on the show. It hasn't influenced any spontaneous cleaning yet, but I have hopes that will come with longer exposure.

Or I did, until bedtime yesterday.

Yesterday afternoon I had sent Isabelle and Sophie up to clean their room.  They (and by they I obviously mean Isabelle) did a 'decent' job in that I could actually see the floor, and the dresser was only partially covered with stuff.  I plan to do a deep clean on their room this week so I didn't really care how perfect it was anyway, as long as I could go in without walking on stuff.

But then we went to put them to bed. And discovered 7 (used but clean) pull-ups shoved under the covers of Sophie's bed.  And a whole set of cars she stole from Jack's room.  And 3 or 4 full outfits of clothes.  And a bunch of other stuff. And this is after we moved the four or five pillows/ giant stuffed animals to even make room for her to get in the bed.  Add that to the approximately 40 stuffed animals on Isabelle's bed and the fact that Izzy has been sleeping on the floor in a little nest she made herself and I really think they might end up on Hoarders some day.

Sounds like it's time to check my cable listings.

One

I can't believe it has been a year.



One year since my water broke, and I went to the hospital on my own, three kids in tow.



One year since I met this delicious bundle of baby and named her Beatrice.



I can't believe I could be so lucky to have a fourth perfect child; the happiest, most easy going baby in the world.



She eats cake just like her mama.



I love you sweet, Squishy Lumpy. Happy birthday Bebe, Beeber, baby Bee!!

Clean Machine

You guys, I am so tired.  I have spent approximately 15 hours over the last 4 days cleaning.  I've gotten the living room, dining room, laundry/ garage entry and downstairs bathroom, and I've touched literally every single thing in my kitchen in the process of cleaning it.

But man, does it look nice!

Unfortunately, I still have the bedrooms, bathrooms and the basement to go (the girls' rooms and the basement are going to be especially labor intensive because I have to sort and organize everything as well as clean it).  Right now I'm feeling like I might take a little break for a day or two because I'm so physically tired from all the work I've done, but I also have a sort of manic momentum going and I'm not sure my obsessive thoughts will let me rest.  So we'll see.  I might try and knock out the bathrooms this afternoon or tomorrow because those are the grossest, and then I can take a couple days to refresh before I start tackling the toy black hole of the kids' areas.

I should also probably take a break before my husband decides I've been taken by body snatchers and replaced with someone who actually does work around the house.