Monday, April 14, 2014

Spoiler Alert

*note: this post contains complaints about spoilers. And also actual spoilers. Consider yourself warned*


Can we all agree there a certain people out there who ruin it for everyone? You know, those people who, whenever there is some big, watershed moment on a super hot tv show, immediately take to social media to complain about spoilers?

They suck. 

I'll confess, I don't really give a shit about spoilers. I knew basically every death and dramatic event WAY before I even started watching the Walking Dead. Still enjoy the show. I would have been obsessed with Breaking Bad regardless of if I knew how it all turned out- it's just an amazing show. I've read the Song of Ice and Fire series multiple times, but that doesn't stop me from absolutely loving every second of Game of Thrones. In fact, is argue it's almost more fun knowing what's going to happen and waiting for it to all unfold. Especially if you can do it with someone who has no idea what's coming and therefore rejoice in their surprise. 

Now, if we are talking in person and I know you haven't seen something yet, I will be careful not to tell you the ending or let critical plot points slip. And as far as tweets or status updates go, I do my best to remain vague, so as to mention my excitement/shock/glee etc at whatever just happened without giving explicit details. i.e " I can't believe that just happened!" instead of "holy shit they just killed Ned Stark!"  But here's the thing, unless it is a personal conversation (like I just mentioned), it's not my job to keep you from finding out what happened on your favorite show. If you don't want to know what happened last night on Game of Thrones because you haven't watched it yet, good luck and best wishes. You KNOW people are going to be talking about it, because they ALWAYS talk about it. So maybe stay off social media until you are caught up? It's not the whole world's issue that you are behind on your DVR. 

I understand not checking Facebook is pretty difficult. And yes, it blows when you slip up and accidentally hear all about the Red Wedding. Get over it. The show doesn't suddenly suck because you already know what's going to happen- just ask everyone who has already read the books. My personal favorite is the people who tweet complaining about spoilers. Seriously. You went on TWITTER, hashtagging the very show you are aupposedly trying to avoid hearing about, to TWEET that other people shouldn't tweet about the show? You are an idiot. I don't go to a sports bar 20min after the Super Bowl and get mad when people talk about who won. If you can't keep yourself off twitter for 24 hours until you can watch the show, then you have much bigger problems than leaked plot points. 

In this day and age of event television and rabid social media, the onus for remaining spoiler free is on the viewer. I mean, you can argue that it always was, but certainly even more so now. I'm sorry you live in china and don't get the watch shows until hours after they've aired over here. Maybe put down the iphone for a few hours then. I bet you'll live. 

Unlike Joffrey. 


Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Karma 101

Jack is mean to Sophie. He has been mean to her pretty much since she was old enough to play with, and not just regular sibling mean. He can be very cruel to her, and he takes every opportunity to put her down, or insult her, or just generally let it be known how much he doesn't like her. I don't tolerate that kind of behavior, and in general he has gotten better about keeping it to himself, but still. Years and years of being a shit big brother on his resume. 

Which brings us to Beatrice. 

He LOVES Bebe. He was always the most interested in her when she was a baby, and he still wants to play with her the most out of the older kids. But she's not having it. I know it is because he is exceptionally exuberant around her, and tends to really get up in her face, which no one likes. But a little part of me is glad to see him get disappointed when she shoves at him or says "no" whenever he talks to her. For so long he was such a jerk whenever Sophie wanted to be his friend (and she never stopped trying, the poor thing), it's refreshing to finally see him get a taste of his own medicine. And hopefully, his hurt feelings when Bebe tells him to get lost will help him understand how the way he treats Sophie makes her feel. And dare I hope, even change the behavior? 

Also? It's pretty funny how Bebe yells "don't want it" to anything Jack does, but let's the girls do all the same things without complaint. 

Payback's a bitch. 





Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Up The Creek Without A Paddle(brush)

I always have a plan. Not so much a life plan. Or a work plan. Or even a meal plan. In those areas I totally wing it (and feed the kids cereal for dinner more than medically necessary). But for my hair I usually have concrete, far reaching goals and a plan for how to reach them. 

With ambition like this it's a wonder I haven't been more successful, really. 

Anyway, for the past year or so, the plan was to grow my hair as long as possible, ignoring all commonly accepted societal norms about age appropriate lengths, and get waist skimming locks for at least one time in my life. And then I was going to chop it all off come May. Well, my "trim" last, when was it, December? sort of threw that whole plan out the window when she took off 4 inches instead of the 1 I had okayed. Now I wouldn't reach my waist goal by May, and the thought of navigating the humidity and 100* temps of summer with a literal curtain of heavy hair was enough to cause me to go completely off track and abandon all plans. So in February I cut my hair, not as short as I had intended, but into a mid length to alleviate the weight and hassle while still maintaining enough length to keep my neck warm and stick out of my winter hats so I didn't look insane.  

Little did I know, my hair, for the first time ever, now grows really fast. Like, almost 2 inches in the past 2 months! If I'd known that I probably would have kept to the original plan and grown it out to my waist, but cest la vie, what can you do?

February 2nd vs. April 2nd

So now I find myself for probably the first time without a plan, or even idea of what I want to do with my hair. And it's kind of making me nutty. It looks perfectly fine, dare I say even good right now in the current length and style. It is super easy to style, long enough for a ponytail, and even the color is fine despite not having been done since September and showing a fair amount of blinding white strands (which amuse me to no end because I'm weird). But I can't just go with the flow and let it be. Even if I don't change it now or even next month, I need to know what I'm going to do. Clearly I would make a terrible zen master. Should I grow it back out long? Should I chop it all off like I originally wanted to do? I'm stumped. 

For months now I've been ogling and coveting Jennifer Lawrence's pixie cut from last fall, and there is a part of me that still very much wants to jump off that cliff and copy it. But another, probably wiser, part of me reminds me that my hair, with all of its stubborn cowlicks, may not even be possible to style the same way she does hers. And without the proper styling, a pixie cut is easily transformed into terrible, frumpy mom hair. Also, I'm not 23, nor as beautiful as Jennifer Lawrence (or any of the other ladies whose cropped hair I worship). Super short hair places all of the emphasis on your face, and I'm not sure my mother-of-four, 36yo, hereditary dark circles can stand up to that kind of scrutiny.  Scary hag is not a good look. Also, I'm currently packing a layer of blubber to put a hibernating bear to shame, and my head is tiny- losing what hair I have may turn me into a pea-headed Gary Larson cartoon. Also: MOM HAIR. But man, that cut is cute!

On the other hand is the option of growing it out again. Even though it looks nice now, I can't just leave it this length because if it's going to be long-ish I'd rather it be long enough for a bun.  And I do appreciate the long term focus of growing out my hair. But I'm just not sure I'm ready for long hair again. It was so heavy and time consuming to wash and dry, although the braids and bun options were nice and I rarely had a bad hair day. Crazy hippie hair days, yes, but I kind of dig those. 

So there you go. The stupidest existential crisis ever, and worst example of blogger navel-gazing. Imagine the things I'd accomplish if I spent even a fraction less time agonizing over inconsequential hair choices. Like the laundry.