My grandmother is 91. I’m not sure she ever really gave a shit about what other people think, but for sure she doesn’t now. She does what she wants, when she wants, and we’re all just lucky that she isn’t a horrible person. Although personally I could live without the banging her hands on the table and demanding dessert, which she taught to Beatrice. That’s nice.
Anyway, my mother recently told me a story of a little to-do that took place at my grandmother’s apartment. See, my grandmother had been using her electric massager in her feet, and after she put it away she heard some mysterious noises. Noises she thought must be coming from her neighbor’s apartment. Naturally she assumed he was having a heart attack or otherwise in distress, and being the conscientious citizen she is, she called whoever is in charge of those things in the building to check on him.
Well, to everyone’s relief the neighbor was not only fine, but not even at home at the time. Which is great for his health, buh didn’t solve the mystery of the noise, which was still occurring. The building manager came into my grandma’s apartment to help locate the source of the noise, and I’m sure you can see where I’m going with this, finally determined that it was the massager, which hadn’t been turned off before going back in to the drawer.
He also discovered that the massager I question, is in fact a vibrator. Yep, my 91 year old grandmother uses a vibrator to massage her feet.
Now, that would be funny enough as a story, I mean, who wouldn’t laugh at an unsuspecting senior citizen using a sex toy to soothe her tootsies? But no, my grandma knows EXACTLY what it is, and what it’s for, and has previously used it properly (I bet my mom loved hearing about that!), with satisfying results. I guess she just figured she already had it, so why not give it double duty and use it on her feet too? And who cares if the building manager needs to be called in to turn it off for her, or if maybe her daughter doesn’t want to hear all about the useage history of that particular device?
And that, my friends, is how you give zero fucks.