Chopped And Bleeding

Sophie's hair is incredibly thick, and glossy and fast growing.  It never ever looks mussed, no matter how seldom she lets me brush it - it is truly shampoo commercial hair.  And because I usually only trim an inch or so off 2-3 times a year (minus bang trims which are ALL THE TIME), it has just gotten longer and longer.  Which is good because it is so thick and slippery I need it to be really long in order to braid it well.  Lucky for that whole never looks messed up thing or she'd be a walking disaster.

Isabelle's hair, on the other hand, got off to a slow start.  It was barely chin length when she was Sophie's age, and for years it just got thicker (it still isn't half as thick as Sophie's) instead of longer.  Even when it finally started getting longer, it just kept curling up tighter and tighter so it wasn't until the last year or so that her hair actually started looking long.  But once those curls started stretching out it really was incredibly long, and because of the curls, almost impossible to brush (she does not have curls that can wash and go - her hair definitely needs brushing).  So she pretty much always looked like she had been living in the woods with a family of bears.  The past few weeks (no doubt from the extra wear and tear from swimming), her hair has been exceptionally unruly.  It almost dreadlocks up, and it was getting impossible to brush.  So I said it was time for a haircut, seeing as it had been 9 months since her last trim.  This is a girl who has wanted Rapunzel hair her whole life, so imagine my surprise when she decided to chop it all off.

I'm not super thrilled with the end results - I think another inch off might have been a better length and the lady did NOT put the layers in I requested, despite me making her do it over (the top layer of Izzy's hair is straight, while the underside is ringlets, so if the top isn't layered it hangs limply over the bottom which curls up super tight and short), but Isabelle is happy so I'm ok with it.  And it finally looks thick and healthy now that all of the straggly, practically 7yo ends are cut off.  I think she looks adorable (of course), but I will confess I kind of miss how her super long curly hair would stay up in a topknot without any pins or elastic, just by the curls wrapping around themselves.  Let me tell you, she is going to LOVE how easily her hair stays up like that when she is older!

Isabelle before:

Isabelle after:

Sophie before:

Sophie after:

Unfortunately I didn't get a picture of the back of Sophie's hair, but you can kind of see that she got at least 3 inches cut off.  There was actually more hair under her seat from those 3 inches than there was under Isabelle after getting over 6 inches cut off!

I'd take a picture today to show you the back, except this morning she decided to do some sort of acrobatics in the living room (like she does ALL THE TIME), but today's performance ended with a trip to the ER.

I heard a thump, followed by very typical "this didn't end as planned" crying, so naturally I came back downstairs to tell her to be careful.  She listened to my admonition very calmly, and then when she walked away I noticed blood droplets on the pillow she had been standing on.

Uh oh.

At that point I ran to actually inspect her head, and saw the whole back of her hair matted with blood.  Super.  I handed her a paper towel to hold on her head, plopped the baby back into the car, and off we went to the Emergency Department.

Everyone was great at the hospital - the baby was incredible in her stroller the whole time, and Sophie was super calm and just watched tv.  The nurses were very nice, but they insisted on explaining every single thing they did to Sophie before they did it (totally a great approach for most kids, no doubt) and Sophie was just looking at me like "make her stop. talking."  It was really hard for me to not just say "honestly, she really doesn't care what you are doing back there, can we just get on with it?"  When Jack split his head open they just rammed 5 staples in there no anesthetic or anything and sent us on our way.  He was TWO at the time.  So while I appreciate their efforts to not freak out or hurt my child, waiting endlessly holding lidocaine soaked cotton balls to her head was beyond dull and pretty unnecessary.  I mean, we're talking about Honeybadger.  Plus, hi - see how I have a baby there? A baby that needs snacks and a nap? Yeah, let's get the show on the road.

Two hours (O. M. F. G.) and two staples later, she is doing just fine, and her nicely cut, freshly shampooed hair is sticky and gummy with blood, antiseptic cleaner, anesthetic gel and who knows what else they dabbed in there.  So I won't be adding any after pictures this afternoon.

And the next time I give her a super cute hairdo like I did yesterday, she's going to have a scar. 

Which makes us 3 for 4 on head scars.  At least they are getting smaller.

Squishy Bits

Many women are happy to expound the virtues of 9 months on, 9 months off when it comes to baby weight.  Some go even further, saying it can take up to a year to lose the weight, presumably because you are so busy bonding with your wee angel and not being paid millions to walk in any upcoming fashion shows.  Personally, having gone through it more than my fair share of times, I can say that the faster the weight can come off the better.  Not that I am saying kill yourself on the treadmill two weeks post partum, but in my experience, if it ain't off within 3 months, it ain't coming off.  Or rather, any poundage still lingering at that point is no longer is now just what you weigh - no baby weight excuses - and is going to take the same dedication to lose as if you had just porked up eating cheeseburgers.

So imagine my delight at weighing not much less than a month after giving birth to my darling Beatrice, nigh on one year later.  Super great.

Admittedly, I have done nothing towards actually regaining any sort of figure.  My dedicated gym routine of the past four years has all but vanished entirely since her birth, so much so that the staff in the playroom at the gym has to ask my name every time I come in.  Pretty pathetic.  neither has my rate of shoving things in my mouth slowed down, and the ever welcome ravages of time and loss of elasticity have left me with rather more squishy, lumpy bits than I might prefer to have.  Thankfully, I had been even fatter a year or so before I got pregnant, so all of my clothes fit me decently and I don't have to wedge in anywhere.  Doesn't mean the lumps aren't still there, but at least they aren't being squeezed into a size down.

But here's the thing: I've discovered the greatest accessory ever.  Four children.

It may or may not be true, but I always figure that I look pretty good for having had 4 kids.  I'm probably not turning any heads in the grand scheme of things, but as far as having actually grown multiple people INSIDE MY BODY, I still look reasonably human.  But even though I don't especially want to revel in my mediocrity, I find myself applying the "people are going to see me with 4 kids and think I look fine" modifier instead of just putting on a more presentable outfit.

For example, yesterday I had on capri running pants (certainly NOT for running) and a tank top.  These items were not especially flattering (although according to Isabelle it was a relief that my shorts were covering my "embarassing legs"), especially paired with my choice of undergarments, which had been selected for comfort rather than non-lump forming qualities.  And there were certain moments when I paused in front of the mirror before leaving the house and thought i really should put on something a little less ... squishy looking.  But I immediately thought to myself "I'll have all four kids with me, so people probably won't think I look too bad."

As if panty lines and bra indents in your back fat isn't a fashion faux pas in the company of minors.

When my kids were babies I always figured I could look as raggedy as I wanted because they were so cute no one was looking at me anyway.  Now I guess I figure I have so many, people will just naturally give me a pass on my appearance, figuring I spend all my time tending to my precious snowflakes instead of sitting on the couch reading magazines. 

It isn't quite as good as the free pass to look like a hot mess you get when you are pregnant, but I'll take anything I can get these days.*


*note: the modifier only works if you have ALL FOUR kids with you.  People do not know you look okay for having had 4 kids if you are at the grocery store in your sweat pant shorts by yourself.

What's The What

So.  Wish I could say so many things have been happening in my life that I just can't keep up with ye olde blog, but we all know that isn't true, and I'd hate to give you all aneurysms from the eyerolling and laughing.  There has been some upheaval in the lives of people around me, but as for myself the most newsworthy even was the cold I had a week or so ago.  It wasn't a big deal in terms of severity, but it lasted for over two weeks!  I completely lost my voice for 5 days (super fun and easy to take care of 4 kids when you literally can't make a sound), and I'm still not entirely cleared up.

Oh my god, the excitement I deal with on a daily basis.

We are currently gearing up for summer break - only 7 (school) days left!  I am super ready to not have to go anywhere at a specific time in the morning every day (ie, not even attempt to look presentable), but I'm really not sure what we are going to do with our time all summer.  Right now it is still cooler than normal (barring yesterday's 102 degree temp) so I am fervently praying it will stay on the below normal side this year.  Or maybe just lower than average humidity so I can stand to be outside a little bit; I don't enjoy being outside at the best of times, and I turn in to super bitch if I'm hot, but the baby always wants to be where her big siblings are so completely avoiding the backyard (like I've done in previous summers) is probably going to prove impossible.  My plan is to get a blow up pool (so classy!) for the kids to play in in the backyard, but I may have to get two so I can just beach myself like a whale in one and not be too hot.  Apologies in advance to the neighbors for the blinding sight of my pasty white body in a swimsuit - that shit don't tan.

My other plans for the summer are to inflict some type of schoolin' on the young uns, and get them doing some calisthenic exercise everyday along with me. Obviously I need quite a bit of toning and fitness improvement, and I'd like to start them getting into the habit of keeping themselves fit and healthy so they don't end up with the uphill climb I've got in front of me.  And I'd really like them to keep up any math/ reading/ writing skills they may have learned during the year so they are ready and raring to go next fall.  But of course, this all means I will actually have to be involved and interacting with them for extended periods of time, so there's a better chance I spend all summer repeating "go play in the basement" and watching Bravo.

Stellar parenting up in here, folks.  I seriously don't know why i haven't been given some kind of reality how-to show yet.

I also plan to completely declutter the house.  I haven't set an exact goal for this yet - I am somewhat stricken by paralysis when I even think of beginning to sort through all the accumulated unused items in the house - but it has to be done.  Getting rid of every "this might be useful someday if a, b, or c, happens" piece of junk filling my house and giving it a nice clean is my dream.  Well, maybe not GIVING it the clean, but HAVING it really clean, for sure.  I love all those "clean your house in 20 minutes a day" pinterest schedules, but they aren't really effective unless you can get your house into a perfect state first, so that's my plan.

Remind of that in July, won't you?

Let's see, what else?  I am currently having an existential crisis over whether I really want to cut my hair or not.  It is super heavy and hot right now, but it goes up so nicely into a bun and stays all day with only two pins (Goody spin pins = miracle!!).  And short hair is super trendy right now, so I'd feel all stylish and awesome for about two days after my haircut when it's all styled by a professional, and then I'm pretty sure I'd just have frumpy mom hair that I can't even put into a ponytail on the hottest days.  So I probably won't cut it at this point.  Unless you ask me in 5 minutes, when I'm totally sure I will.  Mom hair or sister wife hair? Such a dilemma.

Well, there you have it.  Pretty much everything that's going on with me right now.  I know, I know, you can hardly handle so much excitement in one post.  Crazy.

Cause And Effect

Last Friday I went to the gym for the first time in many, many months - possibly since Beatrice has been born.  After being healthy all fall and winter, Sunday I woke up with a cold and I have been sick ever since.  Obviously I shouldn't go to the gym anymore.

Normally our weather is in the 70s or 80s this time of year, so naturally, every time we have had a stretch of nice weather I have gone ahead and put the winter coats away.  This morning marks the FOURTH time I have had to dig them out again.  So you can blame me for the extremely long winter we seem to be having this year, but I blame the lack of a coat closet in our house.

This morning I woke up unable to make even the slightest sound - which is a bit of a challenge when you have 4 kids to take care of!  But so far they have all been very good, and very quiet themselves.  Not as much fighting or bickering as usual (although it is only noon and we have had school and preschool keeping people apart).  But I also haven't been chattered at nearly as much as usual - apparently my inability to respond makes telling me all sorts of mundane factoids less fun?  I don't know, but I'll take it.

And maybe keep it in mind in the future :-)

11 months, Wha???

Beeber, Beebs, Beeberoni, Squishy, Squish, Lumpy, Dumpling, Bitsy, Bebe, Beatrice. Doesn't matter what you call her, she is 11 months old.

How is that even possible?

Still the happiest, most delightful baby EVER (all bias aside)

Seriously. Where does the time go?

Baby girl, I love you so much!! But you better stop growing up so fast or I might still be calling you Squishy Baby at your high school graduation.