Mom, Not Interrupted

It’s 4:35pm. Usually by this time I’m so drained that the thought of performing even the most basic tasks (for example, making dinner) seem almost insurmountable. I’ll be cranky and irritable, and basically just counting down the minutes to when everyone goes to bed and I can finally be alone. 

Today, however, I feel pretty good. In fact, I even got up and swept/mopped the floors and did a thorough cleaning of the cat water fountain- tasks I’ve been meaning to get to for a couple of days, but haven’t because my mornings got busy and any exertion at all just seems impossible in the afternoons. 

So what’s the difference, you might be asking. Did I have an extra shot of caffeine? (No) Did I cut out all processed food? (Hahaha… never). 

Turns out the secret is… Bebe playing quietly all day. 

I know, I know. It sounds terrible to say that I’m in a better mood because Bebe didn’t talk to me all day. And of course, I love all of the myriad thoughts and non-sequiturs that she chatters at me (incessantly) on a day to day basis. But the fact is, I’m intensely introverted, and the non-stop presence of anyone, much less an incredibly clingy 4yo is exhausting. 

Now let’s just discuss the definition of introvert- it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re shy. It doesn’t necessarily mean you have social anxiety or a fear of large crowds of people. What it means is that your energy is internally derived- you need peace and quiet and solitude to recharge and refresh. Talking and socializing are extremely draining for the introvert, as opposed to an extrovert who is invigorated by interacting with other people. It’s not something that you can really understand if you aren’t also wired this way. Even explaining how utterly exhausting I find even just listening to the children talk sounds stupid and selfish to me. 

But that doesn’t make it any less true. 

The fact is, I haven’t been alone for more than a few hours in OVER FIVE YEARS. And I can feel it chipping away at me on a daily basis, which is why today was such a pleasant escape. 

Sure, I feel terrible about allowing Bebe to just watch videos all day (we can talk about proper screen time rules some other time). But she got to be in the room with me all day (which is what she primarily wants), and yet I didn’t have to do anything or put myself out there in any way. It was seriously heaven. 

I can’t wait until next fall when all of the children are in school ALL. DAY. LONG. And I’ll have seven hours to myself daily. Think how much more productive I’m going to be!!
ps: lest you blow a gasket in outrage over my self-indulgent and neglectful parenting, I’ll have you know that yesterday I spent well over an hour in the backyard practicing baseball with Jack (with Bebe as my assistant). So sometimes I’m actually a good mom!

Posted in bad mommy, blah blah blah, lazybones, me, mommy time, personal musings | 1 Comment

Flattery Will Get You Everywhere

Oh, Hey! Remember how I have a blog? Yeah, me neither, apparently.

But honestly, I’ve discovered that the more plans I have for writing posts… the less writing I actually do.  Which is why my skin care routine post that I’ve been planning FOR MONTHS still hasn’t happened, and neither has anything else. I’m sure there is some deep psychological explanation for my behavior (or possibly my life is just. that. dull), but why explore the psyche when you can talk about important issues like CLOTHES? And crowd source essential decisions like: would I rather look good or feel good when attending a party?

Continue reading

Posted in fashion, help, me, personal musings, shameless | 4 Comments

The Whole Shebang

Turns out, I made it through Whole30 February, although I’m not gonna lie- it was a close call at the end there. 

But I finished, and now that it is two week later, I figure it’s time for my final thoughts. First of all, is like to say that it really wasn’t that bad, but that is totally the glow of reminiscence/ Stockholm syndrome talking. It was awful. But I think the awfulness was maybe kind of fun? In a super masochistic way? Like poking at a bruise constantly even though you know it’s going to hurt; it sucked not being able to indulge my cravings, but whining about not being able to indulge my cravings might be my new favorite hobby. Kate Johnson: food martyr. 

Also, I ended up losing over 11 lbs! Which is BY FAR the greatest part of the entire experience- I don’t care that the official goal of Whole30 isn’t weight loss, it is totally the only reason I did it in the first place. Unfortunately, now I know that I have to maintain fairly strict rules about what I will and won’t eat in order to a) not gain the weight back immediately and b) possibly even lose the remaining 10-15 lbs. 

Which brings me to point 3: reentry. The official plan involves adding one forbidden food group at a time, followed by two days back on plan so that you can accurately gauge how your body responds to each category separately, and you can then determine if anything needs to be permanently left off your daily diet. I have it a go on the first day, adding in dairy (Lattes! Cheese! Gelato!), but then normal life activities got in the way and I sort of abandoned the project. So essentially the last 2 weeks have involved the INTENTION that I’m going to stick to compliant meals, but then basically eating whatever I want. Turns out being Whole30 compliant is so much easier when it’s just a figment of your imagination! 

I have been weighing myself daily, and it has been interesting seeing how my weight fluctuates depending on how off plan I eat. And there are definitely different results for different food groups. Turns out lattes made with regular or soy milk (my absolute favorite) cause me to jump up 3-4lbs, but if I use almond milk I’m fine – even with added sugar. 

Sugar itself doesn’t seem to affect me that much (which I could have predicted given my response to every glucose test I’ve ever taken), but the few wheat based foods I’ve had (cookies, muffins, rolls) have made me nauseous. I did have a sandwich that was fine, but straight up baked goods are not agreeing with me. Which is helpful for weight loss but super negative in terms of my extreme love affair with cake. Also, I had some chocolate and I didn’t even like it. 

I don’t know who I am anymore. 

Overall, I think the mental roadblocks are going to be the most difficult to get over. Obviously there have been some physical changes in how I react to foods, and it’s going to take some time to get my brain to accept that I no longer enjoy some of the foods I previously ate to excess. And it is proving very challenging to make responsible choices when I don’t have the external pressure of The Rules limiting me. 

Being an adult is stupid, and self-discipline has never been my strong suit. 

But I REALLY hate it when the scale ticks upwards, so hopefully that will encourage me to keep making better choices. 

Posted in fatty fat fat, food, health, me | Comments Off on The Whole Shebang

What I Read 2017- January/ February 

Here we go again: a list of the books I have read so far this year. 

The Butcher’s Boy- Thomas Perry: a hit man, the mafia, and a justice department analyst, all scrambling to unravel a tangled web of deceit and murder and cover their butts. 

Metzger’s Dog- Thomas Perry: a thief steals the wrong set of documents and gets sucked into a game of chicken with the CIA, who thinks they are dealing with an organized twrrorist group. Very clever

Sleeping Dogs- Thomas Perry: sequel to The Butcher’s Boy. A coincidental sighting after 10 years leads the hit man  to think his enemies are still after him, and he leaves a path of bodies behind him as he tries to erase his tracks and resume his quiet life in hiding. 

You Will Know Me- Megan Abbott: I always expect to like her books more than I do. Totally mediocre ‘suspense’ about a family in turmoil after a tragic accident. Set around the world of high level competitive gymnastics, but the main character was a whiny mess and the ‘big reveal’ was pretty obvious from the beginning. 

The Midnight Star- Marie Lu: finale book in The Young Elites trilogy. Satisfactory conclusion, although I think I would have enjoyed it more if I’d read the other two immediately beforehand. 

The Billion Dollar Spy- David Hoffman: the true story of a Russian engineer who chose to spy for the US, and the incredible impact he had on American military intelligence. Incredible story, although not written in the most thrilling manner. 

The Vanishing Year- Kate Moretti: decent thriller about a woman whose hidden past has come back to haunt her. The big reveal is way too easy to guess, but the book was enjoyable. 

The Drifter- Nick Petrie: an ex-marine helps out a fallen comrade’s family and gets pulled into violent confrontation with domestic terrorists. Basically, if you like Jack Reacher, you’ll like The Drifter. 

Field of Fire- Marc Cameron: this is #7 in a series (none of which I’ve read), and the author goes a little heavy on the allusions to previous stories. Makes the beginning a little slow. But once it gets going, it’s a ripper of an action book. 

Order To Kill- Kyle Mills/ Vince Flynn): super agent Mitch Rapp singlehandedly foils a terrorist plot. Again. 

Guilty Minds- Joseph Finder: someone is trying to discredit a Supreme Court judge, and an ex-military private eye wants to find out why. Predictable but fun read. 

The Beautiful Dead- Belinda Bauer: a serial killer fixates on a TV crime reporter. Not exactly groundbreaking, but a better than average thriller. 

Rubbernecker- Belinda Bauer: I liked the first book I read by her, so in true obsessive fashion I’ve decided to read them all. This one is a twisty tale that alternates point of view between a man trapped in a coma, and a young autistic man studying anatomy. Not your typical thriller, but very satisfying when all of the pieces finally fit together. 

Blacklands- Belinda Bauer: a lonely, neglected 12yo boy starts an ill advised correspondence with the pedophile who murdered his uncle in an attempt to find the body. Not exactly a feel good read.

A Series of Unfortunate Events (#1-4)- Lemony Snicket: Isabelle has read this entire series, and Jack just started after watching the first season in Netflix, so I figured I’d read them as long as he was bringing them home. Quite amusing, and each book takes about an hour to read

Posted in books, reading, reviews | 1 Comment

Mascara Of The Month: W3ll People/ Mineral Fusion

Time for month 2 in my mascara testing series (mascarathon?) and this month it’s a two for one special thanks to a couple of brands I was able to pick up on my regular shopping trips.

The first one I tried is from Mineral Fusion- a clean beauty brand that is available in various health food grocery stores, and even my regular HyVee! That makes this a very convenient option. They have several different formulations- I chose waterproof because that is super hard to find in natural beauty.



I like the formula, although I don’t know if it is anything super special. My lashes look … fine with it on. Not amazing, not terrible. Perfectly acceptable but nothing you’d write home about. I can’t specifically testify to the waterproof properties- the only test I gave it in that department was a trip to the water park, and there’s no mascara in the world that is going to withstand 200 gallons of water pouring over your head (which happened to me THREE TIMES- the warning bell is a pack of lies). But it doesn’t smudge or smear throughout the day, and it washes off completely at the end of the night so I’m happy.


What I don’t love is the brush. It’s really fat and it pulls out big blobs of mascara, making application less than seamless. I usually end up with spots on my eyelid, no matter how gently I brush it on. Super annoying. With another brush (one that curls!) this would be a real winner, but I probably won’t buy it again.

 

The second mascara I tried is from W3ll People. I have some other products from this brand (love love LOVE the concealer), and it just popped up at my Target (so much yay!), so I couldn’t wait until next month to try it.


This brush I LOVE. It seems to coat each individual hair so flawlessly and make them seem so much longer. Definitely not a thickening mascara, but for long, black, everyday lashes it is fantastic. The first couple of times I wore it I did have some under eye smudging by the late afternoon (boo hiss), but I haven’t had that problem lately, so I don’t know if I just rubbed my eyes those days or what. Hopefully those were flukes because otherwise I really like this one.

Mineral Fusion:

W3ll People:

Final verdict: I still prefer the Perfekt mascara, but either of these makes a solid backup.

Posted in cosmetics, makeup, mom stuff, reviews, shopping | Comments Off on Mascara Of The Month: W3ll People/ Mineral Fusion