Monday, June 30, 2008

Light As Air

I just saw a new commercial for Wheat Thins where people are floating in a wheat field while Frankie sings "come fly with me." I don't know if this makes me want crackers, but it sure does make me want a trampoline!

Friday, June 27, 2008

Charge It Or Bend Over

Yesterday I saw a commercial for American Express Business Gold Card. In it a man attempts to purchase a ticket to San Francisco using a credit card with kittens on it. The ticket agent finds this either suspicious or pathetic (her acting doesn't make it clear) but judging by the fact that she calls security on him, I'm going to go with suspicious. Pathetic would make better sense. I mena, no, it really doesn't present the best professional appearance to be using a credit card with kittens on it (it isn't very manly either but who cares?), but frankly, I doubt you are going to be showing potential clients your credit card very often. As long as you keep it discretely tucked away in teh even of any business lunches you are probably safe in your feline adoration. The American Express Business Gold Card might be great for your small business, but I don't think not having it warrants a body cavity search.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Double The Fun

My husband has worked himself into a complete belief that I am going to have twins. I am comparing this to when I see horror movies and get myself so worked up that I can't sleep because I have to constantly scan the room for cannibalistic hillbillies. Only time will tell if his fervor is prescience or madness. Lord knows I'm tired enough for two!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

I Think You Think You Are Special

I have to comment on the new ad for the Burger King Steakhouse burger. In it two men are eating the burger and a woman comes up to ask what they did to deserve it. The first gave half of his salary to charity, but the second replies that he was just hungry. So she wallops him. This is very stupid but I laugh every time it comes on. I'm not sure if it is the slap itself or just the incredibly awkward way she performs it that is funny to me but it gets me every time. Plus, such outrage over the "arrogance" of just eating a hamburger is so silly. As is the tagline - "so good people might think you think you're special." Just pay attention to the slaps - especially the second one to the back of the head - seriously the least elegant attack ever.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Final Theory

This is a book I just finished reading, and I feel is worth recommending. It caught my eye in a review because it was described as "Da Einstein Code" - a descroption that is both accurate and kind of a downside. The similarities in plot structure were often so close that having that comparison in my mind proved a little distracting. But the book was exciting and a super fast read (I did it in just a few hours), and frankly without the association I might have just raced through without noticing the parallels. Anyway, at the end of the book I skimmed through the author's note (Mark Alpert), and I learned that he was once an astrophysics major, but switched over to an MFA in poetry. As a parent, I couldn't help but think that that must have been an interesting conversation. I mean, your beloved son comes home to tell you that he has decided to stop following his current degree plan in the field of rocket science in favor of, poetry? You love your child and want to support him in all of his endeavors but seriously, inside you have got to be thinking "WHAT?!!!" It's like abandoning medicine in favor of roller derby. Plus, what a strange combination of interests for one person to have - extremely complex mathematical equations and rhyming couplets. Weird. I can only hope that if my kids have similar dicergent tastes when they get to grad school they will drop the more whimsical major in favor of the more lucrative one, instead of the other way around (although, obviously Alpert has done just fine for himself). But either way, I will do my best to be supportive and hope for success in whatever arena they choose - even if it is roller derby.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Fly The Exorbitant Skies

Apparently airlines (led by United) are planning to require minimum stays for any flights being purchased. This is bull. Have they forgotten that they are modes of transportation and not hotels? that is like a taxi driver refusing to pick you up until you have spent three hours at the party. Does it not occur to them that regardless of when, people who fly somewhere pretty much always need to go back at some point? I don't see how this solves the fuel issue at all. I mean, if I go to Chicago, I still need to come home whether it is the next day or the next week, and I'm thinking that me staying over for more days doesn't change the amount of gas used in hauling my butt back home. And the disadvantage to business travelers is completely ridiculous. Does a salesman deserve to miss out on time with his family just because his job requires travel and the asshat airlines are demanding he stays in Toledo over the weekend? If I worked at any sort of company where travel was involved I would immediately start implementing any changes possible (telecommunications for example) that would reduce if not eliminate all travel just to say "suck it" to the airlines. Oh yeah, and now they can charge you extra to check your bags, which you will have to do since you now need enough clothing for a three day stay. I get it, gas prices are going up. Just admit it and raise ticket prices - sneaking in all of these extra charges and inconvenient requirements just seems dishonest. Like they are trying to trick passengers with deceptively low rates and then planning on fleecing them later with all the extra fees. If they aren't going to respect my right to travel on my own time frame then they don't deserve my money. Good thing we can't afford a vacation - cause I have no interest in flying with any of these money grubbers anymore.

Friday, June 20, 2008

SYTYCD Redeems Itself

Huzzah, hurray, and hallelujah! The talentless, inexplicable, sucktastic, you-say-salsa-dancer I-say-stripper is gone! For a while there I really thought that she had someone from the Cuban mafia or whatever they call it kidnap one of Nigel's family members in order to guarantee herself a spot on the show. Cause she blew. Never once in auditions or the two weeks of the show so far has she done anything I couldn't do myself (well, I can't really shake my chest around like she did in her solo last night, but that is only because I don't want to dislocate any ribs). And let me tell you, regardless of how many years of dance training I may have had, no 30-year-old mother of two should be able to keep up with the kids on that show. But nevermind that now, the situation has been remedied and the world can resume spinning on its rightful axis. I can return to watching the beautiful dancing and talented contestants with respect and excitement rather than feeling the need to stab the producers with my fork.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

100% Energy, Not From Concentrate

I have decided that energy in kids is like poison in snakes. Snakes are born with all of their venom, so if a baby snake bites you it is much stronger and more dangerous than if the adult snake bit you. This is how energy storgae works in children. Babies are born with all of the energy they are ever going to have - when kids are small that energy is stronger and more concentrated, making it super easy for it to power their little bodies. This is why they can run around all day and climb the slide a thousand times and still find the strength to throw a tantrum when it is time for dinner. And the dilution of energy, coupled with the sometimes exponential increase in body mass is why we adults can barely muster the ability to get off the sofa and into the kitchen for more fuel. I solved the mystery! Just thought you would all want to know.

by the way, my daughter was literally running cirlces around a woman at the grocery store this morning. The woman was just standing there (I think her job was to point out open lanes?), and Izzy was running around and around shouting "I'm running" at the top of her little voice. I thought it was funny, I'm sure the woman did not know what to make of it.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Work In Progress

I had an idea for today's entry earlier as I was walking to the park with my kids. Unfortunately, after spending an hour ignoring the blazing sun and fruitlessly trying to teach my son the small rocks are not in fact cheerios, and therefore don't belong in your mouth, I have forgotten what it is. hopefully I will remember at some point, and I can replace this lovely effort. If not, well, then I guess this is all you're going to get today. You'll take it and like it.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

The Great Outdoors

I would like to thank my mother-in-law for letting my daughter spend every waking moment outside over the last four days. As a result, she has now been screaming non stop for fifteen minutes because I made her come inside after only 2 hours. It is totally awesome, and it makes me really excited for the rest of the summer. First of all, I will admit to a shameful hatred of being outdoors. I enjoy a nice walk on good weather, but other than that I am strictly an indoor girl. I hate being in the sun (it was 98 on our porch yesterday), I find most practical lawn furniture unbearably uncomfortable, and it is always too bright or too windy to read comfortably. I don't like being covered in sunscreen, and I hate having to grease my kids up. Also, my son is just learning to pull up to standing and he loves crawling all around, and he can't do any of that outside because the deck leaves splinters. I just can't bring myself to keep him confined to his saucer for more than an hour or so at a stretch, especially when I don't want to be out there either. So my daughter is just going to have to deal with being outside only part of the day. Yes, I am glad that my kids like playing outside and I certainly want to encourage that instead of being inside watching tv all day (like I tend to). But they are just going to have to suffer until they are old enough to be out there by themselves.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Nintendo x 3 : Decent, Dumb and Tacky

I want to talk about the new commercials for the Nintendo handheld "isn't called a Gameboy anymore but I don't know the new name so I'm calling it a Gameboy" gaming system. In general these ads are fine, but I have a couple of issues. First, I like the one with Liv Tyler. She is playing BrainAge, and I like that since she is basically my age (maybe a year older) and I like to do puzzles and stuff whenever possible to keep my mind agile and hopefully push back my inevitable decline into senility. So that one is good. The one with Carrie Underwood however, has a problem. That game she is "playing" is so ridiculously stupid I can't even stand it. Seriously, she is petting and washing a picture of a dog on her gameboy. And she has a REAL dog sitting with her. What is that about? I like animals and all, but I'm not particularly sure where the appeal is of pretending to wash a digital dog with a stylus on an electronic apparatus. Dumb, and I feel sorry for Carrie that she is stuck with this game. The commercial with America Ferrara has a different issue. Her game is fine - she is playing some version of Super Mario Brothers - my issue is with her gameboy itself. This thing is metallic pink and has her name spelled on it in rhinestones. Cute, right? Well, no. Not particularly if you are twelve, and definitely not if you are 24.

by the way - while all of these ads have varying levels of personal enjoyment for me, none of them makes me want the system. I do however totally want the Wii Fit. Cause if I don't exercise normally, I totally will with an expensive video game console and attachment, right/

Friday, June 13, 2008

Youth Obsessed Culture

I need to admit to a developing addiction to the Disney and ABC Family channels. Obviously it started with programming for my daughter, but I am kind of starting to like some of the shows and I have found myself watching them on my own even if the kids are napping. Wizards of Waverly Place, anyone? Yes, it is stupid and corny - it’s a children’s show - but I still kind of like it. And more than just the shows, I have started taping all of the ridiculous movies (Cadet Kelly, The Circuit) so that I can watch them later. As you might suspect, these are not good movies. I didn’t feel to bad when my fascination was just with shows like Greek and Gossip Girl, because they do appeal to other adults besides me according to ratings articles I have read. But now I have descended into preteen entertainment, maybe even elementary school levels. Pretty soon I am going to be rendered ecstatic by airings of the Wiggles, and not because my daughter loves them. Quick, someone put on something R rated before I am completely into my second childhood!

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Mommy and Me

Tuesday I made a new mom friend. She lives around the corner and has two boys close in age with my kids (one is actually only two weeks younger than my Jack). I actually met her almost a year ago - when we were both pregnant, and we have always said “hi” around the neighborhood and that we should get together but it hasn’t happened until now. It was really fun., and thinking about it now I realize this was my first play date. We have had another couple with a daughter over for dinner once, but they were friends with Brett first. This was my first time meeting someone, making the plans and going all on my own. I had a good time, my kids had a good time playing with all new toys (a sandbox!!) and it was just nice to sit and hang out with the kids while also having semi adult conversation. Mommy related conversation, which I pretty much never get to have because most of my friends don’t have kids. So it was a new experience for me, and I look forward to doing it again soon. Maybe I’ll even have them over to my house, although we don’t have a cool background play set to get dirty in.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Summer, What Summer?

This is what greeted me when I opened the shades this morning.

That's right, folks! It is June 11th and it is snowing here in Steamboat. Sweet, right?

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

God Bless The Usa

I would just like to take a moment and express my love for the USA Network. I watch it everday, like vitamins. This wonderful channel has all of my favorites - reruns of House, new shows Monk, Psych and Burn Notice, and the rest of the time it airs episodes of Law and Order (SVU or CI). What's not to like? Okay, so Monday nights blow due to wrestling, but I can watch Bones and House reruns on Fox now, not to mention Greek and Gossip Girl (I am developing a bit of a youth programming habit, to be mentioned later), so it is no longer the travesty it once was. And yes, they air quite a bit more Steven Seagal movies than might be strictly necessary, but I can accept these flaws. In general, USA in my go to network, along with Bravo (also an NBC affiliate), I can count on these channels to always have something on I don't mind watching. Cause God knows I'm not going to turn the tv off.

PS - I love USA the country too. Go America!

Monday, June 9, 2008

Fanmail

So I have received a couple of comments from what appears to be a regular reader that isn't related to em (I have a fan, wheee), and she very helpfully suggested some topics for me to comment on when I was feeling out of ideas. Partly in gratitude for her ideas and praise (mmm, I love me some praise), and also because her ideas were good and I have something to say about them, I thought I would respond in an actual entry. [read her comment here] First off I would like to say that I totally understand about Charmed. At first I wasn't really interested because I am a huge Buffy fan, and Charmed always sort of offended me because it was much less clever and much more popular, but, sitting at home faced with daytime tv (and refusing to watch soaps, ugh) I learned to love it. For probably 14 or 15 months you could find me everyday from 2-4pm engrossed in the exploits of Phoebe, Piper (my fav cause she's a mom too) Prue (briefly) and Paige. Yes, it is goofy and the effects aren't great, and they do tend to be completely without any chance to defeat the bad guy until all of a sudden nothing really changes and they win in the last five minutes, but so what? It was fun and I have loved Alyssa Milano since my days of putting Teen Bop posters up and wishing I was her so I watched it. Until about the 5th time through every episode, which , combined with our new acquisition of Bravo and the joys of Top Chef, Workout and Project Runway distracted me. FYI, nursing in the middle of the night with my second baby I watched all of the episodes of Alias again (another favorite of mine)- but I had to get that on DVD since it doesn't show up in reruns very often.

As for guilty pleasure/ gossip rags, let me tell you I know all about that as well. I have long been a devotee of US Weekly - since it was pretending to be an entertainment magazine more in line with Entertainment Weekly (which I have had a subscription to for over 10 years), and ever since my daughter was born I have added Life & Style and InTouch as well. Yes, it's pathetic, and I admit to being a totall hypocrite in my hatred/ financial support of papparazzi. But I just love all the photos. What can I say? They are totally addictive, adn you (or your husband) don't need to feel bad about it. My husband would hate that I'm outing him but he totally looks through my magazines every week. He'll claim to just pick them up if they are lying around, but I have actually seen him go out and get one from the recycling pile.

And one final tip: my husband and I also love movies, and while we don't go often, we have hit upon a solution that allows us to see the ones we really want to, without the hassle and added expense of finding a babysitter. We go to matinees on the weekend, but we go separately. One of us goes to the 1:30pm show and the other goes to the 4pm. This works out well for us, and we even have a little game where we try to guess where the other one sat - surprisingly we end up in seats next to each other a lot. It also works out nicely for my husband because he gets to see a whole movie without me making comments every other minute. Or course, I have to try and remember all of my stupid little comments throughout the whole film to mention later, but I just view that as mental exercise.

Pheew! I'm done now - hope this did all of your suggestions justice, TexasMom. Keep reading and have fun with your daughter!!

Friday, June 6, 2008

SYTYCD- The Top 20

Well, first off I will absolutely admit that most of the top twenty were not expecially showcased in the Vegas episode. So I'm sure they are all very good and deserving of their spots. But without that extra footage of how their auditions went, I have to asy that I was kind of dissapointed with some of the choices -namely some of the people that were rejected. So the top twenty had better be really good because there were some dancers that really impressed me in the initial auditions that didn't make it that I was both surprised and saddened to see go. Oh and I am also amazed the stripper, I mean high school teacher, made it into the top twenty since I wouldn't have even sent her to Vegas. I wasn't aware that "exotic" was an acceptable genre of dance for this competition. Oh well, I will console myself with the thought that someone has to go home first.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Open Up and Say Meowaaaarrgh!

Yesterday my cat was diagnosed with some sort of bladder/ urinary tract infection. As a result, I now have the disctinct joy of administering amoxicillan to her twice a day for fourteen days. This is not a secure, easily handled cat. She hates being picked up, won't let anyone but me touch her, and after the first dose this morning has already ruined a new shirt by clawing a hole into it. I am not having to debate the risk to my wardrobe vs. further traumatization of the cat by also clipping her nails. Not to mention I'm not even sure how much of the amoxicillan I actually got into her mouth. And of course, I also have the looming possibility of having to do this all over again because my husband and I are going out of town next weekend and there is no chance in hell that my mother in law will even see the cat, much less be able to catch her and force her to take medicine. I called the vet to ask about this and was informed that I should just give it to her up until then and then stop the antibiotics when it was time to leave. Now, aren't we always told NEVER to stop taking antibiotics before they are all used up? Why yes, in fact it is written right on the prescription bottle. But the assistant on the phone assured me that since the cat would only be missing the final doses (um, no it would be day nine of fourteen days, that's pretty much the middle, idiot) that it would be better to just stop early rather than take a break and start them up again. And that I should just wait until there are more symptoms (ie peeing in places that are not the litter box) to bring the cat back in. So this is all just great, and I am really looking forward to the next two weeks. Hopefully that cat will get so upset at me that she will stop peeing on my daughter's bed because she has a infection and start doing it out of spite.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Blogger's Block

I have literally nothing to say today. I really haven't had much all week, but somehow I have managed to eke out some entires, but today I am just all dried up. I can think of several things to possibly mention, but I can't seem to dredge up any sort of coherent thoughts about them. Vague wisps of thought are floating around in there - but I can't seem to focus on them long enough to get them through my fingertips and into the computer. Just writing this has taken a ridiculously long time given that I have spent several minutes staring at the wall in between each sentence. Too bad I don't drink caffeine cause I could really use some right about now. I hope I wake up a bit more before this afternoon when I have to wrangle my cat into the box for the ever dreaded trip to the vet. Although, I guess if I remain detached I won't feel the scratches.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

SATC

I saw the Sex and The City movie this weekend, and I have to say I really enjoyed it. They didn't push the envelope with the format, and most of the plotlines were just rehashed from the show, but so what? It perfectly captured the mood of the show and brought back that excitement of seeing a new episode for the first time. To be honest I'm not entirely sure what the big deal was about this show - it doesn't seem especially groundbreaking or important, but even without a rational explanation I admit that I got drawn in like everyone else and absolutely love it. Maybe it is just one of those perfect combinations of actors in the absolute right role for them that somehow creates magic - who knows? Whatever the reason, the show was certainly a phenomenon, and judging by the hordes of women waiting outside the theater (even in my small town where fashion isn't in the vernacular and the only shoes people splurge on are for hiking) the movie will be one as well. It is interesting that a movie that is essentially very frivolous can have such a heavy burden of being one of the only movies featuring women of a "certain age" as the stars. And possibly have to be an indicator of whether movies featuring only women can make money. Seems like pretty high expectations for a film that is basically about clothes, shoes and boys. Of course, I can't think of anything I like more than clothes and shoes. And since I won't be buying any $500 Manolos anytime soon, I think I can spend $7.25 (matinee price!) to watch other people wear them and just dream. It's all the glamour without the foot pain.

Monday, June 2, 2008

Live In Closets

So apparently a hoemless woman in Japan was just found after living in a man's closet for a year. The man noticed food was missing, set up some cameras to catch the culprit, and learned that a 58 year old woman had been living in his closet for a year. She had even moved a matress in there and took showers. I''m not even sure what to say about this. does this guy have too much storage space or not enough stuff? And is he never home or is she just really quiet? I can't imagine having someone in my house (he lived alone, or so he thought) and not even knowing it. Did she never sneeze or cough or have to use the restroom at 2am? Frankly, she probably should have just introduced herself and asked to stay - obviously she wasn't much of an imposition - maybe they could have become friends. too strange.

read the article here