Thursday, July 31, 2008

Stop The Whining And Give Me A Break

So, you know the Allstate commercial where the lady is in the airport complaining that she's at the interesection of her email is overflowing and she hasn't had a day off since third grade? Does anyone else want to slap her? I mean seriously, if you are that busy you are either the worst prioritizer ever(okay not really a word, deal with it), or you need another job. I realize that some jobs are very stressful and people are busy - but if you are that over-scheduled and over-worked you have no one to blame but yourself. And excuse me for saying so, but if you choose to live that type of lifestyle then I don't think you should be complaining about it. Either suck it up and acknowledge that you thrive on stress, or take a vacation already.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

As Plain As The Lips On Her Face

So it's been established that when In Plain Sight started Mary McCormack's lips looked wierd. So now I'm wondering if they appear to be normalizing to anyone else. I know that injectible fillers dissipate with time so maybe it's just wearing off. Or maybe I'm just getting used to it. I really hope someone else thinks they look like their deflating because the next step in thinking they look normal is thinking they look good and I do not want to go anywhere near that road.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

The Dark Knight

Incase you are in doubt at all about seeing this film - let me reassure you it is awesome. I'm not particularly hard to please as a movie-goer, especially when it comes to actin type movies, so I knew I would like it just fine. It's been getting great reviews, so I figured it would be better than normal. But after seeing it this weekend I think it is phenomenal. There hs been a ton of talk about Heath Ledger getting an Oscar for his portrayal of the Joker - and I basically attributed that to his death. Not that I thought he wouldn't be good (he always is), but superhero movies don't typically get that type of recognition, and I figured he might earn the honor here as a way of making up for all of the truly Oscar worthy rperformances he won't get a chance to give. But having seen it, I have to say that I think there would be buzz even if he hadn't died. It is almost a shame that in his final complete performance he dissappears so completely behind the makeup and the mask. His Joker has none of the humor behind his menace that we have seen before - he is sick and depraved, aiming to sow discord and harvest chaos, but you can see that while he accepts his role he doesn't cherish it. His motivation is not the pain of others for personal pleasure, but just pain itself. In this he is more the yin to Batman's yang than ever before. Both are solitary figures, doomed to suffer their roles in society even as they accept they are the only ones to fulfill them. When the Joker tells Batman he can't kill him because he is too much fun, he doesn't say it with the joy we have seen in previous performances - he says it because there is no other way to express that anarchy without opposition means no sacrifice. This is definitely the darkest episode in the Batman franchise - and possibly the best yet. Oh, and the toys are super cool too.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Hard Core Stupid

Picture this - a woman crashes her car through the wall of the bathroom, gets out, and proceeds to clean the tub and tile. The tagline is: "Tilex - hard core clean." Now, please explain to me what the hell any of this means. Tilex does such a great job cleaning your bathroom that you don't care if you destroy it with your car? Tilex turns you into a demolition derby driver with a penchant for clean grout? The fumes affect your ability to operate heavy machinery? I don't get it, and I doubt I'm getting any Tilex anytime soon.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Space Monkeys

I have decided that the new movie Space Chimps should be called Space Monkeys. Yes, I know chimps are apes and not monkeys, but the title has a better ring to it. And yes, I also know this is a stupid issue, but it actually really bugs me every time I see an ad for the film. Of course, it doesn't help that it looks terrible.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Project Runway Season 5

Like many people out there I am excited that Project Runway is back, and I hope that this season will be better than ever. But oh my god, there are some really irritating contestants this time. I don't remember ever watching the first episode of a season ans violently disliking anyone - usually it takes several episodes before you realize who is a jerk. But not this season - I actually wanted to slap several people. First there was Stella, who hopefully will not be with us long as she has the wonderful distinction of being the first contestant ever to make something I could have made myself. And that is not a compliment. There is a reason I'm not on this show. Second was Suede, who in addition to having the lamest made up name ever, insisted on referring to himself by it. Doesn't he know that no one likes the guy who refers to himself in the third person? And then there is Blayne. I hated him the moment he appeared on screen - I wanted to run him down with my car from the beginning and he didn't even speak for practically the first half of the show. And then he did. And it made things worse. Seriously, calling your design "girlicious" is not only annoying, it is also confusing and pointless, and when you do it a thousand times, you are stressing your idiocy as well as begging someone to kill you. And the design sucked. So hopefully his irritating, over tanned, bad hair will be the next loser "auf'd". Because I really don't want to have to gauge my eyes out to spare myself the sight of him.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Sleeping With The Family Channel

Last night, at 7pm, the ABC Family Channel aired Sleeping With The Enemy. That's right, the movie where Julia Roberts fakes her death to get away from her abusive husband, and then kills him when he tracks her down. Chipper, family friendly film, don't you agree? Not at all inappropriate for their target demographic.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Jack's Debut

I figure Jack deserves a video on my blog as well. Here he is enjoying (?) a slice of lime at a restaurant a few weeks ago. Of course, as soon as I got out the camera most of the faces stopped, but there are still a few good ones in there.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lFrM90c2lg8

Friday, July 18, 2008

SYTYCD - Shame On You America

Well, America, you deserve a big fat D- for your voting this week. I get it - Comfort is a sentimental favorite seeing as she was already kicked off the show - but guess what? There is a reason for that: she is woefully out of her depth here. She has performed very admirably on the show and seems like a nice girl, but this show is about versatility and she just can't cut it. And I know that most of you are not really versed enough in dance to know what is truly great from what is just okay, but seriously you should be able to tell that she just isn't very good. Personally, I may need to be committed to an asylum if I have to look at her sickled feet any more. Of course, I also sort of find her boring even when she is performing in her strength, but that's just a personal opinion. She has done a great job of trying each genre without any formal training, and definitely deserved to be in the top twenty - but the top ten is another story. She has overstayed the limits of her talent, and I hope you get your sense back in time for voting next week. I'll be doing my best to vote for everyone else in case you make such a grievous error again. Which I meant to do this week, anticipating this outcome, but forgot. Sorry Kherrington, you were my favorite.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

The War Is Now Two Sided

My daughter got her first taste of little brother retribution today. Typically the violence is only one way - she constantly hit him with toys (accidentally I'm sure), hugs him until he falls over and has recently been sitting on his back when he is lying down, pinning him to the floor. None of these particularly thrill my son. Well, this morning he got hold of a drumstick and was banging away quite vigorously on the couch when my daughter ventured too close and had her knuckles rapped. Fortunately, while she cried because it hurt, she didn't seem to blame him at all. And surprisingly, she let him keep the drumstick - Jack rarely gets to play with any of the good toys.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Logic Is Not On The Menu

I have commented on the stupidity of Wendy's commercials before. Well, there is a new one bugging me. In it, 'Wendy' asks: "If warm chicken is good, and cold, crunchy veggies are good, then wouldn't a warm chicken, cold crunchy veggie salad be good good?" Well, I'll tell you Wendy, the answer is no. Because when you put warm chicken on cold crunchy veggies, you get warm soggy veggies, and they most definitely are not good. I don't know who is running their current ad campaign, but they are clearly trying to sound smart and logical without possessing an ounce of common sense.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Repetition Makes Irritation

Saab has a new commercial that repeats the same phrase about recycling energy from the exhaust three times. Saab has a new commercial that repeats the same phrase about recycling energy from the exhaust three times. Saab has a new commercial that repeats the same phrase about recycling energy from the exhaust three times. Annoying, isn' it?

Monday, July 14, 2008

What If You Aren't Ethnic?

I was recently filling out my medical history online for an upcoming appointment what a great idea - an office that is actually paperless instead of just claiming to be!), and at one point there was a question of my children's father's ethnicity. It was a drop down menu. so you couldn't just type in the correct answer, you had to choose from their options. Here they are:

African
Arab
Australian Aborigine
Chinese
German
Hispanic
Indian
Iranian
Japanese
Mediterranean
Pacific Islander
Scandanavian
Sephardic Jew
Slavic
Slovak
Unknown

What happened to the white people? That is still a race isn't it? I mean, we get ripped in the press enough so there must a few of them out there beside me. And what is with the specifics? This list is oddly exact, and yet extremely incomplete. You can apparently be Chinese or Japanese, but not Asian of any other type - have they not heard of Korea or Thailand? You can be Iranian, but not Iraqi, Australian aborigine, but not just Australian. And what about native American? Why can you be an indigenous people of another country but not this one? What if you are an Ashkenazi Jew, or heck, just a regular, don't-really-know-the-difference Jew? And Hispanic pretty much has all of Central and South America covered, plus many in the US and of course Spain, but as for the rest of Europe apparently you better be Scandanavian or German cause those are your only options. So weird. Of course this was the category for "father of the baby." They never asked my ethnicity, so maybe you just aren't supposed to get pregnant if the father doesn't fall into any of these categories. Whoops.

Friday, July 11, 2008

RIP, Please

The other night there was a leading news story on "developments" in the JonBenet Ramsey murder case. Is anyone else sick of hearing about this? Yes, it was a terrible thing: it was tragic, it was shocking, it was TWELVE YEARS AGO. Let it rest. By no means am I suggesting that investigators should stop working on the case and trying to solve her murder, but do we really have to hear about it anymore? JonBenet would be 18 by now - probably well on her way to being a Vegas showgirl or whatever it is creepy little pageant girls grow into. She was a very pretty little girl, and I'm sorry that she had such an early, horrible end, but let's move on shall we? We all have lives still, and I don't think it lessens hers that we don't want to hear about it constantly.

by the way - I realize that because I live in Colorado, this story is probably featured on the local news more often than for the rest of the country. But still - horrible stuff happens all the time and we don't have to refresh our memories on a biannual basis, why for this?

Thursday, July 10, 2008

My Happy Family

Both of my children are currently yelling at me. My daughter is crying for an indeterminate reason related in someway to me making her wear training underwear instead of her diaper. I'm not actually sure what the issue is, but she is in her room wailing "I'm so sad" in case I haven't caught on. My son is standing right next to me crying because I won't let him touch my computer. The last time I let him brush his little chubby fingers up against the keyboard he managed to break off the shift key beyond repair - he's crazy if he thinks we're doing that again. I'm sure both of them are thinking they have to meanest mom ever. Basically I'm thinking everything was much nicer around here 20 minutes ago before everyone got up from their naps.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Return This

There are many companies online that offer free returns on any purchases. However, they are taking steps to make this less convenient than it has been in the past. I am a big time online shopper, and I remember getting return labels included in the packaging whenever I received a purchase. this made it very easy to just reseal the box, affix the label and return my merchandise. Now, however, the trend seems to be to have customers print their own labels. The returns are still free - you just tattach the label and drop of your package at the Post Office or UPS, but I find the extra step of having to print a label super annoying. Not everyone has a printer, you know? Now if I want to return something I have to get my husband to print the label at work and bring it home - pretty inconvenient if I don't want him to know I bought anything in teh firs tplace (haha). Some places will mail you a label if you don't have a printer, meaning you have to wait a week or so to get your label so you can return those shoes that don't fit. Irritating. It really makes me not want to go through the hassle of returning anything, which I'm sure is their point, but in the end all it will result in is me shopping there less.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Companies Have Karma Too

My husband was recently up for a promotion at his company. This is a position that has been available for months - the previous employee gave several months notice, and in fact has been gone for a month as well, with no one doing the job in that time. During this time, every non-management employee has asked my husband when he starts in that job / when they will announce he is the new property manager / why hasn't he been given the job yet, etc. This has been very awkward and uncomfortable for Brett, but he has managed to put off the questioners with his usual tact. Finally, a few weeks ago he was given an interview by the new General Manager, a complete stranger, who is replacing the baldly incompetant one they've had for years. This interview took 20 minutes, during which no real questions were asked as to how my husband would perform the job, what he felt the job needed, etc. In other words, there was no real interview performed. He was also given an "interview" by the two existing property mangers, who asked even fewer questions than the GM, and also laughed uncomfortably because they didn't know what they were doing. So a real crack process there. After several weeks, it was brought to my husband's attention that the position had been offered to someone outside the company (with far less experience in the field as well as none with this company). It became clear that of the people Brett has worked with for the last 7 years - people for whom he has solved many problems and resolved many situations they were incapable of dealing with - not one of them felt the need to speak on his behalf towards getting this job. And further, several of them actually tried to lie to his face when he asked about the position being offered to someone else. Apparently they think their smartest (seriously, the combined IQ over there is hovering below 100) and most reliable employee is completely unprofessional and unable to deal with rejection, and so they felt the correct response would be to lie and avoid dealing with it instead of thanking him for his interest in the position and telling him another candidate had been offered the job. The former GM (still working in a "consulting" position until Sept, although all she is fit to consult on is the best place to buy cookies and how to be consistently late to meetings) didn't bother to contact him at all. Of course, that isn't surprising as she has been avoiding him ever since he applied for the job. So guess what? After all of the dismissal and disrespect shown towards my husband in regards to not offering him the job - the guy they did offer it to has turned it down. Whoops! Probably not a great plan to piss off your second best candidate until the first guy accepts.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Shoe Envy

I am a shoe girl. I love shoes, all shoes, but especially totally impractical high heels that I will never have occasion to wear unless I decide to throw common sense to the wind and get all dressed up for the grocery store. So while I love gorgeous footwear, in the summer I typically live in flip flops. Until this year, that is. This year I have only one pair of shoes and it is driving me crazy. I had surgery on my foot in April (APRIL!!!), and due to the senstivity of the scar I can't wear anything but this one pair of sandals. Everything else either rubs on the scar or pulls on my toe in an uncomfortable manner. And let me tell you I am getting good and sick of those sandals. I have tried finding some other options, but no luck - surprisingly, there aren't a lot of cute optons if you are looking for shoes that don't touch your big toe or the side of your foot. Anyway, this situation better resolve itself soon or I may actually find myself wishing for winter! Oh the horror!

Friday, July 4, 2008

Happy 4th of July!!!

Happy Independence Day! Today is the day we celebrate how the principles that made us a country are also the principles that make our country great. We have an important heritage to honor and the power and freedom to correct out mistakes for the future. And if you don't like it, you're welcome to leave. Good luck finding another country as eager to have you.

Happy 4th everyone!

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Everywhere and In Plain Sight

So In Plain Sight seems alright - I haven't seen an entire episode yet, but the bits of several I've seen seem like it's a decent show. Aside from Mary McCormack's face which has had some definite, non- improving, work done to it. Howver, does it seem to anyone else like they are sort of heavily populating Albuquerque with witness protection participators? I mean, it seems like every fifth person in town is in the program. I understand that they want to keep the main characters in one place so they can throw in personal stories with mary's family and what not (the most boring parts, by the way), but this show would seriously benefit from changing the scenery in each episode so it doesn't seem like the only place people get relocated to is New Mexico. The State's tourism department might also appreciate less inference that their capital is populated with former rats and theives.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

The After-Math

I have lost 3 lbs in the past two days from being sick. That is 2.15% of my body weight (great, now everyone knows how much I weigh, oh well, for all you know I'm 6 ft tall). This is definitely not the way to go about dieting, not to mention that being pregnant I'm don't want to lose any weight anyway. As you can probably imagine I am feeling very depleted in both energy and strength - and my energy was super low already! Oh well, I better get over it - I've got a 23 lb baby to go pick up.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Welcome To The Johnson's

I have spent the past 24 hours either in bed or in the bathroom vomiting (amongst other delightful activites). Today, my husband is suffering the same affliction, and my son has had a slight touch as well, although he appears to feel fine. So far the only one who is completely healthy is my daughter, but she has always had the constitution of a superhero. So that is what is happening at our house - forgive me if I don't really feel like debating the various merits of any commercials today.