Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Mommy-ness Cards

I am not the most outgoing of people, and the idea of making new mom friends when I move is a little daunting. It is easy for me to talk to other moms when at the park or in gymnastics class, but once the time comes to ask for a phone number or other contact information I get shy. But because my daughter is getting older and into the age where playdates are starting to be really fun, I definitely want to make sure that I meet plenty of other moms with kids her age for her to play with. So I have decided to use my own personal contact cards so that I can just pass along my info easily and without the awkward “can I have your phone number” questions. And I can also include any info on my kids, such as ages or allergies that the other parent might find useful. I thought I was being so clever and original (while I think my husband thought I was being weird), but lo and behold I have found a few sites that already offer these types of things. So, while I am maybe not as innovative as I originally thought, and am not likely to make my millions with this idea, at least I am also not so out in left field either. Cause the whole purpose of these cards is to make friends - not convince people I‘m looney tunes or an unbearable type A.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Tweet Tweet

I have joined Twitter recently, and despite no one following my entries (but that’s going to change because you will all sign up and start now, right? Right? Fine, just check the left hand side of my blog and you can see my updates from there. Jeesh) I continue to post little updates on what I am doing. I won’t get into the existential argument of whether these things really matter if no one else is reading them then why do I continue to post, and is your series of life events more meaningful if witnessed or is your own reflection enough, blah blah blah. Because we all know what I do all day and that is feed tiny people and the deal with the waste after processing. I am the personal assistant to three tiny little dictators, two of whom don‘t even speak English yet and so haven‘t nearly reached their despot potential. Anyway, I have been having a fun time trying to think of clever things to post on Twitter, and then failing and writing something boring down instead. But while I have been struggling, Isabelle spouts tweet after tweet all day. Consider these: “Jackie’s in the hole(meaning he got into the space between couches where he is not supposed to be)! Jack’s in trouble(meaning he should be punished, not that he‘s in danger - the little tattle tale), I need you! I’m going to hide. I told you!” or “Ow, my itch. I need some water.” Can you even explain what that means? And my favorite, offered up while driving in the car “there is a plane in my bobo (rear end). It itches (I bet it does). I need water.” Seriously, wouldn’t you want to get those as updates? And by the way, what is with all the itching and the resultant needing of water? Seriously, she tells me something itches constantly (accompanied by zero scratching so it’s just something she is saying not an actual affliction) and the immediately afterwards she needs water. Weird. At least it gets her to drink something - she is the queen of the chapped lips because she never wants a drink.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Another Entry In ‘How To Be A Crap-tastic Mom’

Wow - you can really get sucked into the interwebs can you not? The other night I was happily reading various blogs by other (presumably more competent) moms, and I realized that two of my kids were running around completely berserk, the baby was crying (thankfully from a dirty diaper and not out of starvation),and the noodles I was preparing for dinner were still in the box while the water boiled along merrily. Seriously, if my parenting skills deteriorate any further my kids are going to be in real danger.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

If You Think This Sounds Fun You Should Be A Mom. Or Committed

So you know what’s fun? Being told constantly “you can’t get me” and then being expected to drop whatever I’m doing immediately and play chase with my daughter. You know what else is fun? Getting swatted on the behind, after which I am expected to run or stomp (or walk most likely) down the hall after my daughter, only to be told “GO AWAY,” only to return to the living room to start the process over again. And again. And again. Oh, and getting repeatedly beaten about the posterior because I’m not responding to the chase fast enough, or am occupied in a totally different activity that I failed to stop upon demand, is also fun. Really. I love it. And I haven’t even developed any really debilitating bruises or tripped over any one of the myriad toy shaped obstacles placed in my way and cracked my head open. Yet. We play this everyday so there is always time.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

What, Am I New At This?

I would never claim to be the bestest mommy ever, and in fact am reminded of this ever so sweetly by my eldest with tantrums, the dismantling of things and of course, the coup de grace, peeing on the carpet when given a time out. But in general I think I do a pretty good job. Or I did until the other day when I failed to notice that the elastic headband my son was wearing as a necklace (copying his sister who had about ten on, and they are way too big to be a strangling risk, which is why they are allowed to play with them) was still on at naptime, and then ignored his crying as usual because going in to calm him only makes it worse, only to discover when I went to get him 2 hours later that he had somehow gotten his leg through it and so apparently spent his nap doubled over with his head near his knees. Oh the guilt! At least kids are flexible.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Those Are Some Big Kids

I took all three kids to the doctor yesterday (thank God my husband was here this weekend to help) and of course they were weighed and measured, and they were certainly not found wanting. My eldest daughter turned 3 on Sunday and she is 3' 4" tall and weighs 38 lbs. So that explains why everyone thinks she is 4. My 18 month old son, who was a major chunk when he was a baby, has lengthened out and is now 2' 9" tall, although he is still pretty heavy, weighing in at an estimated 28 lbs (he hated the scale). But at least he is no longer shaped like Buddha. And my sweet angel baby, just two months old has already grown 2.75 inches and gained 5 lbs since birth. And she is my smallest baby. I guess I'm doing something right since these are some healthy kiddos - I just wish I could lift them!

ps: this weekend we took the kids out for breakfast, and the couple next to us made a point of coming over when they were finished with their meal and telling me how well behaved my children are. I'm very used to being told how cute they are, but this was really nice to hear because I actually had something to do with it. I'm so proud of them, and the compliment made me a little proud of myself, too.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Ooh, Those Jammies Are Sure Sporty

Last week I took a trip to Target all by myself with all three of my kids. And if you don't think that is an accomplishment then you don't understand the ages of my kids (three, 18 mo, and 2 months) and you don't realize that the Target is and hour and a half away from my house. Anyway, while I was there I was perusing the pajamas, and for the first time I thought about how the pj section is grouped together with the athletic wear section. I'm not sure why this time it struck me as odd, but it did. I mean these clothes are for completely opposite activities. Jammies are for lounging and being lazy in the comfort of your own home and should never be worn where others can see you. Exercise clothes are for being really active and busy and sweaty - often outside. So this seems like an odd pairing of sections in a store - like having evening wear and swimwear together. But then of course, I thought about the similarity in comfort levels of these types of clothing, and how easy it would be to just sidle over to the yoga section and pick up more of those type outfits instead of straight up jammies, and I realized how smart this pairing is. Now all of us lazy bones who never do anything more active than getting up to find the tv remote can wear yoga pants all day instead of sweats or pajamas and when we wander outside to get the paper or drag our passle of kids to the store people will see us and they will think "oh, she must have been exercising right before she came here and that is why she's all sweaty and unkempt" instead of "what a slob." And that is a deal at any price, my friend.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Happy Third Birthday, Isabelle!

Isabelle -

You are more wonderful than you know. You have changed my life more than anyone else, and I am happier and more fulfilled everyday because of you. The way you try to manipulate me into giving you treats (successfully), the way you run away from any wrongdoing as soon as I show up as though I might not notice what you were doing, your constant (even when you are alone)chatter about random topics, your continuous insistence on getting the purple cup even though I would never dare give you a different color, your refusal to wear anything but dresses - over your regular clothes if necessary, all of these things are uniquely you and I love them. Even when you are driving me crazy (which is often) and testing your boundaries (even more often), I love you. I will continue to try and improve myself so that I can be the best mommy and someone for you to really look up to. I promise to spend more time playing with you, and to show you how special you are to me everyday. Thank you so much for all of your help with your little brother and sister - I will try to allow you to be a little kid more instead of my assistant all the time, but I am going to encourage your helping nature as much as I can!I love you, and I can't wait to see you continue to grow up and become the wonderful person you are proving to be. Just don't do it too fast, okay? Enjoy being three, as I will enjoy you being three - tantrums and all - because you are my baby and I wish only the best for you. Have a wonderful birthday, my angel!!

love, Mommy

Thursday, March 19, 2009

In My Body Is Not The Same As On My Body

So Avon has a new product - Anew Derma Fill wrinkle cream, and they are advertising it as having the same ingredients as injectable fillers to smooth away wrinkle son your face. How is this a selling point? I understand the principle behind injecting a think gel into your deep wrinkles so they get plumped up from underneath (although I don't really get the appeal), but I fail understand how rubbing these same ingredients into your face acheives the same results. Maybe it is like spackle - you smooth it on and it settles into lines so when you put makeup over it your face looks smooth. Sounds attractive, especially if you have spackle skills on par with my own and the chunks fail to stick. Big globs of cream falling off your face and out of your wrinkles is probably what the company is going for.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Anatomy According To "The Lord"

Your head bone connects to your, neck bone.
Your neck bone connects to your, shoulder bone.
Your shoulder bone connects to your, back bone
Oh hear the word of the Lord.
Your hip bone conects to your thigh bone.
Your thigh bone connects to your knee bone.
Your knee bone connects to your shin bone.
Oh hear the word of the Lord.
Your shin bone connects to your ankle bone.
Your ankle bone connects to your foot bone.
Your foot bone connects to your toe bone.
Oh hear the word of the Lord.

I hope my doctor hasn't been listening to this guy - especially since the back bone apparently doesn't connect to the hip bone at any point, and there isn't even any mention of arms.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Happy St Patrick's Day

Hope you have your green on!

ps: I would say Happy Birthday to my Dad too, but he's busy on a caribbean cruise while I'm stuck here in the snow and mud so phlbbbt!

Monday, March 16, 2009


The new Comcast ads where people semi sing all about the merits of Comcast while walking through strangely illustrated streets is pleasing to me. I'm not sure that they are particularly effective as commericlas, but the chanting is strangely hypnotic and I like it. It's like a 30 second spot of meditation, except instead of pondering inner peace we are musing on digital cable and internet.And that's my type of meditation.

Friday, March 13, 2009

I'll Eat The Soup If I Can Paint My Kitchen

So, I'm sure you've seen the commercial where the guy gets dragged across the kitchen floor and into his chair to demonstrate his reluctance to try low sodium Campbell's soup. Well, can you please explain to me why everything in the ad aside from the soup (kitchen setting, tables, chairs, dishes, the people's clothes etc) is beige or white? Are they representing the excess of sodium in the world? Would regular colors distract from the soup? I don't understand.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Just When You Thought I Couldn't Get Any More Superficial...

I have recently developed a fascination with several blogs that are all about nail polish. Seriously, the only topic covered is nail polish. I came across these sites in my search for the perfect neutral polish - you know, the perfect pinkish beige for my skin tone, not too opaque, not too sheer, doesn't streak when appiled, etc. Anyway, there are hundreds of options out there, and since the only real way to determine color is to try it on, I was looking for testimonials or pictures so I could narrow teh choices and don't have to buy every color myself. And I came across these blogs. These people are amazing - one woman has well over 2000 polishes (at a minimum of probably $5 a bottle!) and paints her nails a new color every night. That is some serious commitment to your fingers both financially and in time. It makes my little drawer of polishes look downright modest. Now you are probably wondering how I could become so enamored of reading about nail polish - and I will assure that I'm not reading these word for word. But the publish pictures of their nails painted in all the colors of the rainbow, with the brand name and color listed, and that part is what I like. Seeing this long scroll down of jewel tones on the most beautifully manicured fingernails (seriously, I didn't know you could get your cuticles that good on your own) is mesmerizing. And fortunately, while I think a lot of these colors are beautiful and I secretly want them for a minute or two, seeing the sheer amount of polishes these women own, and hearing about them buying an entire collection the second it comes out and then comparing one shade to another they already had (and finding it almost identical) makes me happy with my current stock. And while I'm sure that I will buy nail polish again in the future, I think I'll stick to shades that are totally different from what I currently own. Or at least I will once I find that perfect neutral.

update: I have found my perfect shade - bubble Bath by OPI. It is a great sheer creamy pink that goes on easily without streaking. And Get Me To The Taj On Time makes a great neutral for toes, although it is more gray than pink.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

You Know The Keys Lock, Right?

When I first saw the blackberry ad about "butt dialing" I thought it was pretty funny, but also a little ridiculous. I mean, there is a key lock, so if the whole flip thing really necessary? And then I got called three times in 20 minutes by my husband as he was walking around the store with his phone in his pocket. Now I think the Blackberry flip phone is a genius invention for those people out there who can't quite figure out how the key lock works.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

This Castle May Not Sink Into The Swamp - Yet

There are two reasons I will watch Castle a few mores times. I watched it the first time because I like Nathan Fillion, and there was nothing else on, which overrode the fact that I had previously decided I wasn't interested (despite said love of nathan Fillion) because the previews looked vaguely lame. But I think I will give a few weeks to grow on me now for couple of things that were in the preview. The first was a scene between the main character and his daughter. They were having a perfectly normal conversation where he was explaining why the police had talked to him, but instead of wlaking together down the hallway, he was playfully pushing her so her socks slid her along the hardwood floor. To me this was such a natural scene of what a happy father daughter relationship is like, and in a small way it indicates an interest in portraying realistic characters. The rest of the character interaction was fairly typical and predictable, but this little glimpse showed promise to me. The second reason is that Fillions' character is a famous bestselling muder mystery author, and he plays in what is presumably a regular poker game with other famous authors - who are played by Steven J Cannell and James Patterson. And that may show just an insider conceit by the shows producers, but I choose to believe that it indicates a little reward to any viewers who may be fans of the genre the main character writes in. And since I am a fan of both the genre and insider jokes that I actually get, I will give this show a few more chances to really win me over. Although part of me hopes it fails because what I really want I Nathan Fillion working with Joss Whedon again - a role on Dollhouse perhaps?

Monday, March 9, 2009

Sweetie, Can You Show Mommy how To Work The Computer Again?

I really like the PC Windows ads that show little girls demonstrating how easy it is to use a digital camera and their computer. however, it is also a little scary, because they are doing things I don't know how to do myself, and I know that in a year (or three given the different ages of the girls) my daughter will be that age and doing things I don't know how to do.

Friday, March 6, 2009

American Idol - The Judges Picks

Praise Jesus, Tatiana "I just got a new accent" del Toro is out of there! Clearly the producers weighed the online backlash aginst the appeal of onscreen dramatics and made the right decision. Hooray! Beyond that, no big surprises really - even adding an extra 13th contestant wasn't that huge a shocker given the talent in the eight wild card hopefuls. I think the only thing that really surprised me is that they didn't vote in more girls to try and make it even - we are super boy heavy this season. But whatever, Tatiana is gone, and Megan Joy and Anoop are in, so I'm happy.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

American Idol - Wild Card

Well, The judges certainly have their work cut out for them - there are a lot of good people in the wild card race that deserve another chance. Do they all deserve to be in the top twelve? I don't know, but maybe neither do all of the people who were voted in. That's why we need a few more weeks to vot and get to know the contestants. What I do know is that if tatiana makes the top twelve I will have to stop watching the show, and judging by all the polls I've seen indicating how much people hate her (one website poll voted her the most annoying contestant EVER), lot of other people feel the same way.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

American Idol - The Third Set Of 12

Von Smith - He didn’t sound that good to me, but to be honest I had a really hard time hearing him clearly over the noise of the heat in my house no matter how loud I made the tv. I definitely didn’t like the song, but I’ll hold off totally judging the performance since I could hardly hear it,. The judges liked it and I‘m assuming they could hear it better than I could.
Taylor Vaifanua - SI thought she sang beautifully, but her liquid leggings didn’t go with her dress and the shininess was distracting. And apparently she sang a song she had already sung - which would be an issue is the audience had seen her sing it twice, but despite how much the judges like to insist on it being a singing competition and that the contestants have to shocase their range and versatility, it is basically a popularity contest, and we haven’t seen enough of the contestants yet to really know or care if she sang a repeat song.
Alex Wagner-Trugman - I did not like the beginning, but once her got to the chorus it was much better. He needed a snazzier outfit though - all he needed was a backpack and he would have been ready for school.
Arianna Afar - Another one who sang in a range that gets eaten by my heat - the notes I could hear sounded nice and strong. But she was super boring - just stood there and moved her arms out once or twice. Work on some stage presence, girl.
Ju’not Joyner - Sang a song I really like, but I did not like the arrangement at all - way too slow and kind of depressing. I think he should have sung something by Seal - he had that same kind of tone to his voice.
Kristen McNamara - Another song I hated the arrangement on - she changed too many notes on this song so the tune was almost unrecognizable. She sang well, I just didn’t like what she did with the song itself. Her dress was also not particularly flattering (what were the weird flowery things on the shoulders?), and it seemed more like something you would wear to a lunchtime bridal shower than on stage to rock out.
Nathaniel Marshall - This guy is quite a character, and you just have to like that he sang Meatloaf. I though he sang well, and while he has a personal style I don’t particularly love (lip piercing, constant headband) it suits him.
Felicia Barton - The second chance girl - she got kicked off originally and was brought back because another girl in the top 36 was really good friends with some producers and they had to ask her to leave to avoid controversy. I think she did a good job with her second shot - she sang nicely, performed well and chose a good outfit.
Scott Macintyre - Um, let’s see; he’s really talented, apparently a genius, and he’s blind. Think he’ll get some votes?
Kendall Beard - She didn’t sing that well, and what the heck was on her belt? She wore a really cute yellow dress, and I agree that it needed a belt to add a little extra style, but what was the big bunch of “flowers” hanging off of it? It looked like Spanish moss spray painted various colors. Ugly. And she has the distinctin of being the first performer I saw that was bad enough that Paula only commented on her looks. She also looks just like Tamra from The Real Housewives of the O.C. Not that that means anything, I just had to mention it (although that reveals that I watch The Real Housewives of the O.C., which is maybe something I wanted to keep to myself).
Jorge Nunez - The beginning was so boring! He had such a look of feigned earnestness on is face, blech. It picked up a little when he hit the chorus, but I was not moved.
Lil Rounds - Loved her dress! Seriously, does anyone know what it is because I want it (although I would probably need the top to be a different color, yellow doesn’t look as good on me as it did on her). She sang wonderfully (Mary J Blige anyone?), and I think she was one of the few who came across already professionally.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Too Fat To Fly?

So there is this ad for the Realize Gastric Band, basically advertising having a band put around your stomach so you lose weight. It features overweight people offering up the reasons they want to lose weight -for example, one guy wants to get healthy so he can do karate with his daughter. But one woman's reason is "to fly to Paris with her husband." Is this really something you can't do if you are fat? I totally understand not being able to run around and play with you kids - or worrying that you won't live long enough to see them grow up. But not traveling? I know it probably isn't all that comfortable to be on an airplane for a transAtlantic flight if you are the size of two people, but does it really prevent you from going altogether? I doubt it unless you are spending so much on food you can't afford the flight. Otherwise it's just an issue of letting your disappointment in yourself stop you from what you want to do. And that is cause for therapy - not a reason to have surgery.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Um, I'll Stick With The Donuts

I love Dunkin Donuts, and for that reason some of their commercials make me sad. They have been advertising their new egg white sandwiches, and I have to say I have never seen less appetizing food in a ommercials attempting to sell it. These things look flat and tasteless, and a bit like they are made with cardboard instead of pita or flatbread or whatever it is. They sound good, but they really need to work on the glamour shots of their food.

ps: interesting I have two donut titles in the past week - what am I thinking about?