Thursday, October 29, 2009
how much money does pablum make?
(unfortunately, pablum makes no money, my friend. unless you are a journalist in which case it can pay fairly well I believe)
metaphor cankles commercial
this? Is awesome. Don't know what kind of ad are selling metephorical cankles, but I want to see it. I'm curious who might possibly be the intended market for cankles, metaphorical or not. I'm also totally interested in how googling this led here.
but regardless of the wonder that is the cankle (not to be confused with the thnee), my search terms are just sad. Get out there are Google some crazy shit, yo! just make sure it leads back here because I'm in the mood for some free post material.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Also, I am totally cheaping out on this entry because I just read over 60 blog entires from all the other people I follow, while trying to watch Top Chef, and thinking about the magazine I want to read as well as possibly squeezing in a few more games of Bejeweled Blitz on Facebook before bed, and my husband likes it when the house is actually sort of clean so maybe I'll have to put some dishes away too, but at least I vacuumed so there, and I have to figure out if I'm actually going to wear my purple wig to Izzy's preschool Halloween party tomorrow cause I need a lot of extra makeup to pull it off but it also kind of itches so if I take it off I'll look totally crazy and also my hair will be smushed, and oops I didn't wash it for like three days so I should probably go do that tonight too. So see? I'm busy.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
written while listening to Slow Dancing In a Burning Room : John Mayer, Continuum
Monday, October 26, 2009
On the left you can see the scooper that is marked "for dogs of all sizes." On the right, you can see the scooper that is "for small dogs" only. Does anything about this strike you as odd? Like perhaps the fact that while dogs may vary greatly in size the owners do not? Are small dogs owned by tiny little people or do the manufacturers just figure that if since they bend over so much to pat their wee little dogs they wouldn't mind hunching over to also scoop the poop? I'm thinking that if I have to bend over that far to use a fancy scooper, I can just as easily do without the scooper. Isn't the purpose of a scooper (beyond removing that fun possibility of actually touching the poop) to make it easier to just pick it up? The size of teh dog doesn't really enter into that at all in my mind - large dogs' poop is not harder to reach than little dogs'. These should be labeled "for all dog owners" and "for little people dog owners." And it may not be PC, but I'd love to see a label like that!
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Lava Girl Song (lyrics by Isabelle Johnson, as transcribed by me, typos or strange spellings are to maintain the unique pronunciation of the artist, unless it says "teh")
Lava Girl went out with keys in her pocket
and she tried them in the lock
but they didn't fit
cause it was too big
so she got another key
it was a very small one
and it fit very perfect
so she went in and put the keys on the counter
but she couldn't find them later
cause Shark Boy put them in his room
and he locked it
cause he didn't like her
so she went to dance class
with her Lava mommy
and then she died in a volvano
Shark boy went to get some groceries with his mommy
his Shark Boy mommy
and he was a little baby yesterday
and then he growed up
and then he pet the kitty
and it was very wet, she took a shower
a kitty shower
Shark Boy went to get his water bottle
and it had a Shark boy face
and then he got hot
like a very big hot dog
a giant hot dog
and then it squash him
very him very hard
and then it squirt him with orange juice water
and then he dried his towel
and put his new suit on
his green suit on
that has Shark Boy on it
because he doesn't like the purple one
but Lava Girl doos
he liked it yesterday
but he didn't like it this time
and he didn't do something
he just went to the store
to buy some yogurt
and then he eat it all gone.
future grammy winner, no?
also said this week:
to me when I had my back to her, feeding her brother, with an accompanying pat on my rear: "What is this big butt doing here?"
also to me, when I asked if she needed help eating: "I don't need help because I'm a big girl. And you're a big fat mommy." pause pause "I mean a big fat LADY."
guess I need to stop alking about my weight gain around her.
Izzy: "we want crackers and smoothie...and chocolate because we've been good."
me: "well, you're quite the little manipulator aren't you?"
Izzy: "Yes. I. Am.
Friday, October 23, 2009
But even if I manage to solve my long term storage issues, there is still the problem of the daily clutter that builds up in a house with three kids. Who wants to run upstairs for a sweater (and then again for this kid. and the other kid. and the other other kid) everytime it gets a little chilly? Who wants to run upstairs for a pair (or 4) of shoes before every trip out of the house? no one. So you keep some downstairs, by the door where they are convenient. And in the way. and taking up space that you could use for your laundry detergent or brooms or a thousand other things that have no place and instead just sit randomly atop any surface that happened to be empty at the time. And after awhile, those random surfaces become "where the dustpan goes," and the house just gets sloppy and slovenly and you stop even seeing the mess. I seriously can't live like this. I cannot continue just not cleaning my house properly because of all the stuff in the way. It may be wasteful to get rid of things I already have but don't use, and less efficient to only have one of everything and have to move it from room to room or never buy new products until the old ones are truly all used up, but I just cannot live with having stuff everywhere. Drawers full of half filled notebooks? Really? Stacks of sheets or pillowcases I will never ever use? No. I do not need these things when it means that my counters end up holding everything we use on a regular basis because they is nowhere else to put them. Things may not always be IN their place, but they at least need to HAVE a place. Because on the rare occasions I do clean, I don't want that to mean I just straightened up the piles.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
note: This is what is known as "stream of conciousness" writing. Not that I'm really applying any sort of literary tools here. But I did just sit down with my laptop and start typing, so if this entry meanders all over and makes no sense, well, that's because I didn't really know where I was going when I started, and now that I've finished I am so not going back and trying to wrangle this mess into making sense. Not even to catch all the times I left 'i' uncapitalized, or used my new favorite word 'teh' instead of the. So there.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Saturday, October 17, 2009
"I say please because I'm all grown up."
To my parents and aunt who were all gathered around upstairs saying goodnight to all the kids: "What are all you old people doing up here?"
Patting my father on the head as he hooked her seatbelt: "good boy"
Chasing the kitty: "come here Pixie, we're nice kids."
Friday, October 16, 2009
Start with one, slightly used, but generally cheerful and rested Mommy
Add a head full of mucus (exact amounts may vary, but a general guideline would be a metric ton) - being careful to apply in such a way that Mommy can never breathe clearly, or go more than 30 seconds without coughing
Slowly fold in one snoring Daddy (may be substituted with any irritating, repetitive noise depending on season)
Add a pinch of random cryinng baby - must have no clearly determined problems, ie, hunger, full diaper, and instead must be awake and crying for no apparent reason
Chill overnight (must be cold enough to ensure that even with extra clothes Mommy is never comfortable)
Awaken 15 minutes before Mommy's preferred time of conciousness
*this recipe can also be used to create Cranky Mommy. Part of the fun is never quite knowing the end results.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
Both are the sweetest, friendliest girls who love attention and getting pets. Neither is phased by the kids racing around, and right now they are busy exploring their new house and each other. It is weird to have cats here that aren't my Xander and Iris, but so nice to have little furry critters to cuddle. Last night I got to sleep with my arms around a warm, purring body, and it felt so wonderful.
by the way, they are also WAY more beautiful than these photos. But they are so eager for attention that I can't get close without them running over to me so I had to get stealth shots.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
yesterday after I told Izzy she was getting so big: "I know I know. I'm sorry I keep growing up."
Me too, little girl.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
Isabelle is my oldest. She is my first baby, my first girl, and the person who changed my life more than any other. She looks just like me, and she is so wonderful and smart and funny - she makes me laugh a hundred times a day with her funny little comments and looks and her crafty little manipulations that she is already trying to pull on everyone. She is so amazing and special, and I could not imagine my life without her. But she is not a cuddly child. She does not want to sit on my lap or hug or snuggle. She will squirm away when I try to play with her hair or scratch her back, she never wants to tell me about her day or confide in me, and in some ways I am always left wanting more. A little more affection, a little more dependence on me, at least for a little while longer.
Jackson is my boy. He is the cuddly, giggly baby I was waiting for. The first night after he was born, he kept waking up crying, and I finally realized that he just wanted to be with me, so that first night he slept in my arms in the hospital bed. He is so sweet, and so sensitive, and he can really be a momma's boy - coming over to sit in my lap with a book or a toy. He is quirky and funny, and such a character. But he is also stubborn, and can be a whiner with a short fuse temper. He frustrates me more than any of my other children at this stage in the game.
And then there is Sophie. I don't know if it is because she is the baby and so I have approached her every milestone with a sense of holding dearly to the memories for they may be my last. I don't know if it is because, for the first 6 months I was the only person in her life. All I know is that there is a very real and very special bond between us. Something that seems to go beyond that of mother and child. She is the only one of my children who consistently lights up with joy when I walk into a room. No matter how long I have been gone, she will squeal and begin worming her way over to me as fast as she can. I am allowed to leave the room, but if I come back in without speaking to her or picking her up, she will cry. It is the only thing she will cry about other than hunger, pain or needing a diaper change. When I hug my other children it is with the sense that I have to squeeze as tightly as I can because soon they will break free and go back to the business of being children, but when I hug Sophie it feels like she would be happy to stay with me forever. Of course this will most likely all change as she gets older and craves more independence and the magic of mommy wears off in the face of reality and discpline. And perhaps it is only the wonder of the last baby - of knowing that this may be the last tiny body you get to hold close to you and call your own. Whatever the cause, and whatever the outcome, I am forever grateful for all of my children. Each of whom I love like no other, and who have hanged my life more profoundly and more positively, than I ever could have dreamed. You are my favorite.
Friday, October 2, 2009
update: I think this post is coming off like I am despondent or feeling hopeless about losing weight. So not true. Instead, it's more like I woke up thinking, "hey I can totally do this, I'll just follow the plan i used last time." and the HONESTLY HAD NO IDEA WHAT THAT WAS. it was only two years ago, how can my memory be eroding that quickly?