Okay. Here is where you all abandon ship and hate me for being the whiniest spoiled brat you’ve ever heard of, but I’m going to go ahead and complain about this anyway.
You see, the weather is just too nice.
Now look, before you get all “bitch, you crazy” on me I will admit that the past few weeks of 80 degree sunny days is about as perfect as weather can get. Low humidity, nice cool evenings, if we could get a freakin’ cross breeze through our house (why or WHY would you build a house without allowing for a cross breeze?) it would be heaven.
Except its MARCH.
This is my idea of perfect SUMMER weather, and I think we can all agree that we are far from summer. It is barely spring, and yet I’m sitting here all hot and cranky because we are lingering in that hellish neverland (due to lack of an openable front window – I WANT A CROSS BREEZE) where it is too warm in the house (for me) to be comfortable, and yet not really hot enough to warrant turning on the air conditioning.
Now, my own personal unpleasantness with being hot aside (and I will admit that I am super sensitive to being hot – anything over 75 and I get a little testy), I have another totally ridiculous reason I’m pissed about the weather: my clothes.
All winter I’ve been lumping around like the biggest slob ever, because what is the point in putting together cute outfits only to cover them up with a big giant parks? Because you KNOW the only places I go don’t really involve removing your coat, and I’m not sitting around on the couch getting cat hair all over my “nice” clothes, when I can be super comfy in stretchy pants. So I’ve been absolutely DYING to get through coat weather and into nice, cool spring days where I can wear some of the outfits I’ve been planning over the past few months, and people can actually SEE them. But nooooo, as soon as we put away the coats the mercury decides to swoop up into the 80s, and now I’m left looking like a big fat hag again because A) I hadn’t prepared a summer maternity wardrobe, thinking I wouldn’t really have many hot days to deal with, and B) 34 yo pregnant women don’t look all that great with a lot of skin showing. I’m sure everyone is just loving my forced display of armpit fat and the dimples I’ve developed on my knees. And now I can’t even cover up my frumpitude with a big, black, puffy coat.
So let me tell you – I’m sorry for all of you out there soaking up the sunshine and enjoying this fabulous early spring weather, but I am PRAYING that we lose at least 20 degrees here pretty damn soon. This is my last pregnancy, and I’ll be damned if I’m not going to look cute at least a couple of days in here, so Mother Nature best get off her high horse and bring it back to the mid-range of temps, because this jumping from 45 degrees straight to 85 just won’t fly.
Oh, and if it’s 85 right now, what the hell is it going to feel like in July? I shudder to think.