Tuesday, May 15, 2012

State Of The Union: 34 Weeks (plus some)

I made it to goal #2 - 34 weeks, with little fanfare and nothing to show except an ever expanding waistline and increasingly short temper.  I no longer have to see the perinatologist, and apparently all concern for an early delivery has evaporated from my doctor's minds, leaving in place the apparent notion that I'm going to go the full 40 weeks, or even past.  If her constant references to 41 weeks are any indication.

Which brings me to my next point: I am DONE.

I am rapidly losing any patience whatsoever for being pregnant - I will endure and make the best of my final pregnancy for as long as it takes (obviously) but let me caution you SEVERELY against making any remark within my hearing that I may not go into labor for weeks yet.  Seriously, this is not a joke.  I do not care in the slightest about "the longer that baby stays in there the better" or any other commonly accepted medical crap knowledge.  I'm done, the baby is done, and any comment to the contrary will be viewed as darkest betrayal.  I want positive thoughts for immediate labor and delivery, or at the very least, for my delicately maintained hopes not to be dashed.

The staff at my doctor's office is desperately in danger of being punched at their continued happiness I am still pregnant, and if my doctor says one more thing about going PAST my due date I bear no responsibility for what may follow.  It's like the cruelest form of taunting to get me all excited about an early delivery (I want to see if this baby is a boy or girl SO BADLY) and then yank it away and imply that I may still have months to go.  Do they not know to avoid provoking a pregnant lady?  They must have a death wish.

Seriously, refrain from thinking this is anything even resembling a joke.  I am a firm believer in creative visualization and putting out into the universe what you hope to receive, and anyone who 'hopes I'll make it another three or four weeks' or even MENTIONS June to me is throwing a firm wrench into the happy little universe where every day might possibly me "the day". I'm not even going to say you are wrong for feeling that way, but if you know what's good for you, I'll thank you to keep it to yourself.

And my husband thanks you for not antagonizing his increasingly cranky wife.  I imagine I'll be quite intolerable to live with shortly (if not already), so for his sake if not my own, pray for baby to make an arrival shortly.

ps: just to clarify, I am fine(ish) with the pregnancy taking as long as it takes.  Sure, I'm uncomfortable and the baby is going to be HUGE if I go another whole month, but there's only so much I can do about it. Which is why the assuming, or worse, the WISHING that it will last another four weeks infuriates me.  If I go until my due date, so be it, but you can bet your ass I'll be starting and ending every single day praying for labor to begin.  And I'll accept nothing less from anyone else. The mantra is "today is the day;" learn it, love it, live it!


Julia said...

Witness. I've been there. Good luck! Also nothing you do in your current state can be held against you.

Julia said...

Especially if you are tried by a jury of your peers.