Dishwasher Saga Part Eleventy Billion

Last week, Tuesday I believe it was, our oven crapped out on us. There are a lot of things in desperate need of replacing in this house, but I had thought the oven wasn’t one of them, so that was extra special. But we put on our adult pants, and Wednesday afternoon we signed on the dotted line for a brand new electric range. Threw in a dishwasher too, because there was a sale and because ours was beyond disgusting inside. Picture indelible staining and multiple missing prongs.


We were scheduled for delivery on Thursday, I thought for sure our luck had changed when the guys showed up at the very start of our 4 hour delivery window. Excellent! Prompt delivery meant my mom and I had plenty of time to get everything installed before the kids got home from school. I could make dinner, and all of the dishes piled in the sink could get squared away without a fuss.

An hour later we had a sparkling new oven, all hooked up and ready to roll.

Then we got to work on the dishwasher. Suffice it to say, it did not go well.

First we had to remove the old one, which went reasonably smoothly even though the water shut off under the sink didn’t entirely shut off the water. We got all the correct hoses and cords and whatnot attached in their proper places, and we went to slide it into the hole.

Where it didn’t fit.

Oh, it MOSTLY fit, but it stuck out that last little 1/2 inch just taunting us with its refusal to slide properly into place. Not ones to quit in the face of adversity, we subdued the beast, and eventually managed to wrestle it into its proper position.

Then we tried to reattach the water. Because my existing dishwasher connection was a very stiff copper hose, we couldn’t do this step before sliding the dishwasher in to place. But hey, laying on the floor trying to see into a 3″ clearance and screw together two pieces of plumbing shouldn’t really be that much of a challenge. Right?

Ha ha ha ha ha!

An hour (more?) later, after pulling out the dishwasher and trying to connect the two piece from a better vantage point, and surprisingly not developing a murderous rage, we decided to buy a flexible water hose and new connection.

Start fresh, try again, pip pip cheerio old chap.

The new pieces made the process a little smoother, but we still couldn’t get the connection to stop leaking- most likely because we messed up the plastic part on the dishwasher with the metal threads on the water hose. Fantastic.

We gave up after 6+ hours, and I got to work hand washing dishes while my mom went back to Lowe’s and complain. And they immediately told to just bring it back and exchange it. Hooray!

So Friday morning I uninstalled the dishwasher of ineptitude, strong armed it back into the box, and we swapped it out with a new model. An hour and a half later, we had the new dishwasher properly installed with no leaks or hang ups.

Later on that night I learned that at some point during this production I had severely wrenched my back. But I didn’t care that I could barely walk or stand up straight; it was worth it.

Or so I thought.

Last night, we had finally filled it up and I was ready to give it a spin. Loaded in the detergent, and the rinse aid these highfalutin energy savers all require, and I fired ‘er up! Didn’t sound entirely right, but what do I know? My old dishwasher was a million years old! These new ones are so quiet! It’s all fine and dandy!

But then this morning, I went to grab a little plate from the “clean” dishwasher, and I noticed it was still dirty. In fact, ALL of the dishes were dirty. And the little soap packet was just sitting there, untouched.

But wait! The water shut off valve had never been turned back on! That’s all it was! Isn’t it funny that we’d go through all that trouble, installing and removing and reinstalling and disconnecting and reconnecting and reinstalling it all over again and then forget to turn the water back on? So silly. I’ll just run it again.

Except this time the dishes didn’t get cleaned either. And the little soap packet was still sitting untouched and undampened in the bottom of this traitorous dishwasher.

What. The. Fuck?

Our old dishwasher has already been hauled away for scrap, so we can’t even reinstall it’s hideous, yet functional, carcass. At this point I’m seriously considering just adding more cabinet space and not even having a dishwasher. We can just put the kids to work hand washing everything.


About lonek8

stay at home mother with four beautiful children. Devoted television watcher and reader; wannabe novelist and fashionista.
This entry was posted in blah blah blah, home decor, low tech. Bookmark the permalink.