Flattery Will Get You Everywhere

Oh, Hey! Remember how I have a blog? Yeah, me neither, apparently.

But honestly, I’ve discovered that the more plans I have for writing posts… the less writing I actually do.  Which is why my skin care routine post that I’ve been planning FOR MONTHS still hasn’t happened, and neither has anything else. I’m sure there is some deep psychological explanation for my behavior (or possibly my life is just. that. dull), but why explore the psyche when you can talk about important issues like CLOTHES? And crowd source essential decisions like: would I rather look good or feel good when attending a party?

The husband and I are attending the in-town party for an out of town wedding this Saturday, and I’ve been going through my closets trying to decide what to wear. My usual go-to for “fancy” events is Rent the Runway, but nothing was really striking my fancy there at this point (that actually fit the occasion – there were some stunner ball gowns) so I decided to just go with what I have.  Which, lets be honest, is primarily leggings and sweatshirts.

basic daily uniform because I am a winner

But I do have a couple of dresses that I think will fit the bill (keep in mind I will know NO ONE at this party, and my enthusiasm level for even leaving the house is pretty low). The first option looks really nice, but it is quite restrictive. The skirt looks perfectly acceptable, but due to the tight underskirt it feels SUPER SHORT. It is also tight (ish) and not at all stretchy, and the jacket is slightly constricting in the shoulders (um, like all jackets?), so it isn’t the most comfortable of clothing choices. Which, I guess, isn’t the point of most clothes? I don’t know, I haven’t gotten properly dressed in 11 years.

why does this skirt feel like it is a micro-mini?

The second choice is VERY comfortable; silky, slightly stretchy fabric in a boxy, straight cut. There is a high neck, low hem, and 3/4 length sleeves, so no danger of anything unwanted popping out at any point. I won’t have to sit up super straight, constantly check alignment, or worry about eating whatever I want because there isn’t a waist line. But also, maybe I look like I’m wearing a black pleated potato sack? I have a serious sickness wherein I continue to misunderstand that the kinds of baggy fashions that look so nice on stick thin 23yo fashionistas might not be the best choice for a middle aged (dear god, am I middle aged?) mother of four who’s packing on several years worth of hibernation weight.

flattering from the side- maybe I can just sidle everywhere?

To be honest, this could actually get into interesting territory. Do you go with the personal choice and favor comfort and peace of mind, or do you cave to (possibly imaginary) social pressure and attempt to look as nice as possible, sacrificing a certain amount of ease and convenience? Do you feel good when you look good, or do you look good when you feel good? Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

I cannot think about my pose and make a nice face at the same time. Clearly

Feminists could probably take this topic and really run with – exploring the subconscious criteria the patriarchy has drummed into all of us that women must always look nice and place undue value over our appearance. After all, I highly doubt my husband is giving even a second thought to his outfit for this event, and he actually knows the people who will be there. But I like to think of myself as fashionable (even though I display this exactly NEVER in my daily life), and I want to present a stylish appearance to the world (no matter how false).

tight and distracting because V A N I T Y

I think we all know how this is going to turn out, don’t we? Unless I get tons of comments saying the sack dress is in fact, gorgeous and makes me look sylphlike and elegant (but I’ve seen the photos), I’m totally going to end up in the tighter, more flattering dress.

Which is fine too, because then we won’t stay as long and maybe we can manage to hit a late movie. I’ve been dying to see Get Out.

ps: I think it’s a faux pas to wear all black to a wedding? Because of the funereal vibe and whatnot. Is that something we care about?




About lonek8

stay at home mother with four beautiful children. Devoted television watcher and reader; wannabe novelist and fashionista.
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4 Responses to Flattery Will Get You Everywhere

  1. Paula Kiger says:

    Ah Kate – so many questions! A) I always feel less pretty when I feel restricted and irritated by what I am wearing. I would lean toward comfortable — and that “comfortable” dress is cute! And there’s lots you could do with a stunning/interesting necklace or accessory to spice it up and B) on the black to wedding things don’t ask me. My niece recently got married at two in the afternoon. She requested we all wear black tie so I did a long dress and all the guys did Tuxedoe$$$$. But I was shocked at the number of women in long BLACK dresses. I think black at an evening wedding can be elegant not funereal but it does always feel a little funereal to me on a joyful occasion. Keep blogging! 🙂

    • blank lonek8 says:

      Black tie is definitely an exception to the “no black at weddings” rule, and of course, most fashion edicts are antiquated now. Thanks so much for chiming in on this decision!

  2. Gellybelly says:

    I know that I am just your mom and have never been accused of cow towing to fashion trends, but I do believe that it is possible to look good and be comfortable at the same time. Nobody really cares that much, and you will actually look your best if you are happy and having a good time.

    • blank lonek8 says:

      In general, absolutely. Unfortunately for this specific event, finding an outfit that is equal levels of flattering and comfort would require buying something new. And it’s a little late for that 😀

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